The groom is not I.I.: Russian women told which professions they prefer as husbands
Over the past few years, Russian women have considered IT specialists to be the most desirable candidates for husbands. However, this year the situation has changed dramatically: in 2023, almost three quarters of women saw IT specialists as ideal partners, but now only 27% of 2.9 thousand respondents remained in this opinion. At the same time, experts note a growing interest in representatives of other professions.: doctors and businessmen. What causes it, as well as what trends are shaping the modern relationship market — read the Izvestia article.
IT specialists are no longer in fashion
Over the past five years, IT specialists have been perhaps the most enviable candidates for husbands among Russian women. High salaries, the prestige of the profession, and career prospects made programmers a symbol of success and financial stability.
— The surge of interest in representatives of the IT industry as suitors first appeared in 2020, when the country and the world went online. Then the incomes of representatives of different professions sank, but IT specialists remained afloat," said Liana Gabrelian, art critic, lecturer in sociology and political science at the Russian State University of Justice, expert at the Infowork educational marketplace.
However, the situation in the Russian IT market has recently undergone significant changes. Despite high demand and rising salaries, the Russian IT sector has faced a number of challenges: increased competition, and the geopolitical situation and sanctions have contributed to the outflow of qualified personnel abroad. According to experts, the shortage of employees in this field ranges from 500,000 to 1 million people. At the same time, the total number of IT specialists in the country is growing: in 2024, their number reached 1.6 million people, which is 16% more than in 2023.
— The average salary of IT specialists is 87-90 thousand rubles, which is considered an impressive figure for the regions, in Moscow it is about 200 thousand rubles. Most importantly, companies in this sector often show a high degree of care not only for employees, but also for their families: relocation arrangements, compensation for housing costs, leisure activities, etc.," said Liana Gabrelian.
However, the attractiveness of the profession in the eyes of women is reduced by the fact that due to the high workload, IT specialists do not devote enough time and attention to the family, in addition, career prospects in this area are not stable for everyone.
The results of the Mamba dating service study confirm these changes: if in 2023 72% of women considered IT specialists ideal partners, then in 2025 their number decreased to 27%. Representatives of the fair sex began to look for more reliable and socially active partners, which is associated not only with economic factors, but also with a change in life priorities. Today, ladies increasingly value their spouse's emotional support, responsibility, and active lifestyle.
The most eligible suitors: who are they?
In the context of changing economic and social realities, women are more likely to pay attention to representatives of professions that are traditionally associated with reliability and stability. In 2025, doctors took the first place among the desirable candidates for husbands — 43% of respondents chose them. Dentists took the second place in the rating with 38%, and businessmen rounded out the top 3, receiving 36% of the respondents' votes.
Larisa Karavaitseva, chief psychologist at Twinby dating service, believes that these changes are based on several reasons, including the current socio-economic situation, media images and cultural trends.
— The popularity of IT specialists in 2020-2023 grew against the background of the success of Silicon Valley, the image of a smart introvert millionaire and the massive transition to online, - says the expert. The characters of TV series, YouTube, TikTok, and shows form an association with the "ideal man" for doctors, IT specialists, and the military.
It is also worth considering the psychology of women and their expectations of relationships: in a period of instability, they intuitively look for a caring, stable partner (doctor, engineer), in an era of consumption and choice — successful and self-realized (IT workers, businessmen). When the value of emotional intelligence increases, the focus shifts towards "helping" professions — doctors, psychologists, teachers.
— The growth of the IT sector has led to an abundance of IT specialists in social networks and dating applications. Gradually, IT specialists lost their former attractiveness, and doctors and dentists began to be perceived as real—world people who brought concrete benefits — in contrast to the virtual work of programmers, they looked more advantageous," the specialist adds.
In addition, according to the psychologist, men from the IT field are often associated with isolation, lack of emotional involvement, inaccessibility in terms of time and communication.
— It's no secret that IT specialists are guys who live in their own special reality, and sometimes the issues of elementary organization of everyday life are difficult and insurmountable for them. On the other hand, doctors, managers and other specialists from the offline environment are able to earn no less, but at the same time remain involved in all the processes of the daily routine. The emotional manifestation of a relationship, empathy, is one of the key demands in a relationship at the moment, and here computer geniuses often lose," Liana Gabrelian explained.
The growing popularity of medical professions is explained by several factors. Firstly, doctors and dentists have a stable social status and stable income, which is especially important in conditions of economic uncertainty. According to Rosstat and the Ministry of Health, the average salary of doctors in large Russian cities in 2024 ranges from 70-120 thousand rubles, and highly qualified and experienced specialists can earn significantly more. In addition, the COVID-19 pandemic has increased public respect for workers in this field, which has also affected their perception as reliable partners.
Secondly, women note that male doctors are more likely to take care and responsibility towards their partner in their personal lives, which meets the expectations of many in building a family. This is confirmed by sociological studies showing that a profession with a humanitarian bias is perceived as an indicator of emotional maturity and readiness for the role of a family man.
The demand for businessmen who took the third place is associated with ideas about their financial independence and active lifestyle. According to Forbes, the average income of successful entrepreneurs significantly exceeds the economic average, which makes them an attractive choice from a financial point of view.
In 2025, a record number of Russians appeared in the global ranking of billionaires — 146 people, and their total wealth reached $625.5 billion. The average income of successful entrepreneurs varies, but the fortune of domestic businessmen is estimated at billions of dollars. At the same time, unlike IT specialists, businessmen are perceived as more socially active and proactive.
It is worth noting that there are practically no representatives of professions with unstable income or low social status in the ranking of women's preferences. Thus, couriers and taxi drivers, despite the high level of earnings in some regions, are not considered eligible suitors. This underlines that for the fairer sex, not only financial performance is important, but also lifestyle, social recognition and the prospects of a partner.
— Women do not voice their desired professions when looking for a man, they rather voice the social status and financial level of the person they would like to see next to them, — matchmaker Anna Osipova shared with the publication.
The expert also noted that some ladies are very biased against representatives of creative activities.
— There is a stereotype that a man in a creative profession is unreliable, irresponsible, etc. However, this is absolutely not the case. It is important to understand that the main thing is not what kind of profession a man has, but whether he enjoys it," explained the matchmaker.
Experts expressed the opinion that the change in priorities for women reflects a broader shift in public perception of the role of men in the family. Today, more and more women are looking for partners who can not only provide financial stability, but also show emotional support, be active and responsible.
PRO women
In modern Russian society, professional status remains important when choosing a partner for a serious relationship, but the priorities of women and men differ markedly.
— Status is more of a concern for women. Although it's still not very relevant now, because women are perfectly able to provide for themselves. They have learned to earn as much and sometimes more than men. The status will worry the woman who wants to feel more important at the expense of her partner. Or if it is important for her that her partner takes the place of a leader in their family. It will be a patriarchal scenario," says psychologist, psychoanalytically oriented therapist Yulia Terekhova.
According to the speaker, a man, as a rule, is not interested in the status of a partner, it is more important for him that his companion is suitable in the matter of relationships.
— In the traditional view of gender roles, men pay more attention not to a woman's professional status, but to a set of her personal qualities that are important for starting a family. Research data in this area varies depending on the geography and socio—cultural state of society," said Liana Gabrelian.
According to the expert, in general, most men agree that their wife's stressful work or her traveling nature can affect the quality of family relationships. However, the number of men who are confident enough to support their wife's career is increasing. Some unions are formed based on the similarity of professional ambitions.
— In Russia, men look at the type. That is, it is very important for them to like a woman outwardly," adds matchmaker Anna Osipova.
Although for men, profession is not a determining factor in choosing a spouse, certain trends can still be traced. According to the analysis of resumes and vacancies, the stronger sex more often pays attention to those who are involved in the fields of education, medicine, art and services, associating these professions with care, reliability and the ability to maintain home comfort. Specialties associated with high workload, business trips, or unstable income are perceived less favourably.
— The fact is that most businesswomen want a man of the same social status, preferably the same age. However, statistics in Russia leave much to be desired, and a man of high social status, for example, in a marriage agency will never choose a peer," says Anna Osipova.
For many women, the issue of combining professional growth and family responsibilities is still relevant. The problem of the balance between career and life remains one of the main reasons why women choose flexible working hours, remote work or professions with the possibility of part-time employment. Gender stereotypes and expectations of society also have an impact on career ambitions.
How to choose a partner for a relationship
When choosing a partner for a serious relationship, it is important to understand that work is only one of the many factors that influence the success of the union.
— Information about the partner's profession gives an approximate understanding of his earnings. Then you can think about whether you are ready to live with this level of earnings of your partner or not. At some point, a woman may decide to have a child, will not be able to earn money, and she must understand what she can expect financially. This is a security issue," explains psychologist Yulia Terekhova. The specialist also notes that a person's profession speaks to his ambitions, actions and constancy.
Despite the popularity of certain specialties, experts interviewed by Izvestia advise not to focus solely on the status or income of a potential groom, but to pay attention to deeper qualities.
— It is important to understand how stable your partner is. If he's in the toy business today, and then he gives up everything and goes into the banana business, and then something doesn't work out again and he goes to organize something else, it's alarming. Most likely, this partner will behave the same way in life. And you will also be in a very insecure and unstable situation," Yulia Terekhova notes.
It also matters how much a partner is able to create close relationships and invest in someone who is close. It happens that a person creates many connections, but does not choose one life partner. It is impossible to build a good and strong relationship with such a person, adds psychologist Yulia Terekhova.
According to Anna Osipova, it is not necessary to form an unambiguous impression of a person by his occupation.
— There are no good or bad professions. It is important to look at things realistically, to understand whether you can be with a person just because of financial gain and status. But if love is not a priority in your desire to build a relationship, nothing will work. <...> Remember that your partner is not a clown, a lifeguard, or a "soulmate." Look for a whole person who will be on the same wavelength with you, with whom you will feel good both talking and being silent," explains the matchmaker.
The expert advises giving yourself chances for a fateful meeting, so as not to miss the good things because of the prevailing stereotypes about the "frivolity" of the profession.
According to Olesya Tolstukhina, a clinical psychologist at the Doctor Nearby medical technology company, in order to build a serious relationship, it is important to pay attention to the current status of a potential partner's life, which was the result of his own efforts or inaction.
— The naive position that a companion will change right next to you often leads to disappointment. If it is important to you that your partner thinks strategically and can plan for the future for years to come, choose a person who has already achieved his goals and plans of youth in this way," the doctor comments.
Experts emphasize that the profession does not guarantee harmony in a couple. It is more important to gain mutual respect, listen and support each other, and be willing to compromise.
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