The psychologist talked about ways to present a partner to the family without stress

A partner's acquaintance with their parents can cause severe stress and turn into a kind of exam. Larisa Karavaitseva, a psychologist at Twinby dating service, told Izvestia on April 4 how to avoid awkwardness and typical mistakes.

According to her, psychological roles often change during dating: parents are perceived as a "parent", and the partner as a "child" who strives to please and is afraid of evaluation. This turns the meeting into a test instead of an introduction.

The expert stressed that one of the common mistakes is the surprise effect, when a person is not warned about a meeting. This increases anxiety, whereas predictability, on the contrary, creates a sense of security. In addition, creating the perfect image of a partner becomes a problem. Overestimated expectations of parents can lead to a more critical perception when they actually get to know each other.

Karavaytseva also noted that the format of the interrogation at the table and questions about income or future plans increase tension and create a sense of appreciation.

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"This translates communication into the format of evaluating a "candidate for a role." It is especially dangerous when the partner himself sides with the parents and begins to reveal his other half. Behind this is anxiety or a desire to gain approval through "making the right choice." The meeting turns into a test where the person feels vulnerable. It is important to take the position of "we are together", and not the position of an observer," the psychologist added.

In her opinion, support plays an important role. If a partner is left alone in a new environment, it increases feelings of isolation and stress. The expert stressed that excessive desire to please and attempts to control behavior only increase the unnaturalness of communication. In conclusion, Karavaytseva noted that getting to know each other is easier if the participants perceive the meeting as an introduction rather than a test.

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Ekaterina Krikunova, a psychology teacher and medical psychologist, said on March 27 that before getting married, it is important for partners to discuss financial issues, everyday life, relationships with relatives and plans for children, as differences in these areas most often cause conflicts. According to her, one of the most controversial topics is the distribution of finances.

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