The name of pure water: why Russians are afraid of meeting Nastya and Nikita
Online dating in Russia is taking a new turn - now, more and more often, the fate of the first meeting is decided not only by photos or interests, but also by name. According to research, more than half of Russians have rejected an interlocutor at least once because of unpleasant associations with the name, and a quarter have their own personal stop list. Why a name has become a filter on the way to relationships, how stereotypes are formed and what name trends are changing the rules of Russian dating in 2025 — in the Izvestia article.
How a name decides the fate of dating
In the era of online dating, the name has evolved from a simple personal attribute into an important filter. This is confirmed by a recent study by the dating service VK Dating, which involved 1,300 users from different regions of the country.
The survey results showed that for 69% of Russians, the name plays an important role in the first contact. Women are particularly attentive to this: 77% admitted that they pay attention to the name, while among men this figure was 53%.
According to Larisa Karavaitseva, chief psychologist of the Twinby dating service, such a statistical advantage is explained by gender-specific perception.
— Gaze-tracking studies have shown that men, when viewing questionnaires, almost immediately focus on photos and make decisions based on physical attractiveness, while women analyze a wider range of information — socio-demographic characteristics, education and profession of a partner. Therefore, the name as part of this textual information is also more often seen by women," the expert explained.
Every second user has scrolled through the questionnaire in the app at least once because of a name that arouses antipathy. Women do this more often (65%), among men this figure was lower — 30%. 45% of the respondents have a list of names that raise doubts, and a quarter of the participants admitted that they have compiled a personal stop list - a list of names with which they are not ready to start a relationship. At the same time, 31% of respondents believe that the name does not influence their decision.
In addition, 40% of users note that some names seem to "haunt" them — they are often found surrounded by their acquaintances, and one in four have names that are associated with negative experiences and therefore do not arouse a desire to communicate with their speakers.
Nevertheless, the majority is ready to overcome bias: 84% of respondents said they would give a chance to a person, even if the name evokes unpleasant associations. Matching the name of a new partner with an ex does not bother 51% of respondents, 39% admitted that it causes them slight discomfort, and for 10% this factor is a serious reason for abandoning a relationship.
— The proportion of those who attach importance to a person's name when meeting is higher among the age group of 25-34 years. Users aged 18-24, on the other hand, are less likely to focus on their favorite and unloved names. At the same time, zoomers are more concerned if the name of the new partner matches the name of the former. Users aged 35-44 are least concerned about such a coincidence, " the VK Dating press service told Izvestia.
Who is being added to favorites and stop lists
The results of the VK Dating survey also show different trends in the perception of names among men and women. Anastasia, Galina, Olga, Zoya and Valentina appeared in the anti-rating of female names, which most often become a reason for refusing dating. Nikita, Sergey, Alexey, Anton and Vasily are the leaders among the men.
According to clinical psychologist Ksenia Savelyeva, the fact that these names turned out to be the favorites of the stop list is explained by their superpopularity in previous years.
— The names Nikita and Anastasia experienced explosive growth in the 1990s and early 2000s. Nikita from the top 50 of the 20th century broke into the top 10, and Anastasia dominated as the most popular name for girls in 1991 and 1995. This unprecedented mass movement is the main reason for today's negativity," the expert said.
As for attractive names, men are more likely to sympathize with ladies named Victoria, Catherine, Alice, Anna and Elizabeth. Women are more attracted to candidates with the names Alexander, Dmitry, Maxim, Roman and Andrey.
Other studies show that this set of names is constantly changing. According to a survey by the Mamba dating service, 26% of women named Alexander as the most attractive name in 2024. The least preferred names were Taras, Eduard and Prokhor. In addition, 13% of the participants admitted that they had partners in their lives with names they were ashamed of.
As for male preferences, most young people would like to meet a woman named Anna, followed by Victoria, Ekaterina, Alice and Elizabeth. Among the unloved names were Raisa, Zinaida and Claudia.
Experts note that in modern realities, a name becomes a kind of calling card, influencing first impressions and willingness to continue communication.
— The name Alexander is traditionally perceived as masculine, symbolizing strength, power, character. The same name in the female version can evoke the same associations, but in a less complimentary way," said Liana Gabrelian, art critic, lecturer in sociology and political science at the Russian State University of Law (RPA of the Ministry of Justice of Russia), expert at the Infowork educational marketplace. — It should be noted that there are some sexual overtones [in the names]. For example, Cleopatra is passionate and seductive, like the queen of Egypt herself. For men, this name will automatically evoke exactly such associations, and women may perceive a girl with that name as a potential rival.
People with unusual names are perceived ambiguously in Russian society today. Obvious irritation is often caused by the incongruity of first and last names, for example, Claudia Ivanova or Marcel Tikhonov, the expert explained.
At the same time, the owner of a rare name often captures the attention of the opposite sex against the background of candidates with common names. The idea of a name often passes on to its bearer, especially when communicating in the online space. Perhaps this explains the recent fashion for Slavic names that have hardly been used for centuries, such as Zareislav, Miroslav, Vseslav, Lyubava, Zlata and many others, researcher and historian Lee Ofan added.
Where do personal fears come from
The perception of a name goes beyond the simple designation of a personality and turns into a wide range of associations, often related to life experience, cultural influences and mental characteristics.
— A name is a powerful trigger of unconscious associations formed by personal experience and culture. In a real acquaintance, upon hearing the "wrong" name, a person can instantly lose interest, without giving a chance to a new acquaintance. This is a deep, often unconscious psychological reaction rooted in the fear of repeating past pain," explained clinical psychologist Ksenia Savelyeva.
According to the expert, the more people with a certain name a person meets in a lifetime, the higher the chance of encountering someone who has left a negative mark. The brain makes the mistake of generalization: "All Nikita/Nastya is like that." This process generates a "statistical trauma" — a negative experience reinforced by a huge number of name bearers.
In addition, the formation of personal stereotypes is also supported by popular culture.
— Negative or simply vivid characters have become entrenched in the mass consciousness as an archetype. For example, Nastya often embodied the image of a "moody princess" or an "emotionally unpredictable" heroine in youth dramas and comedies of the 90s and noughties. Nikita was typically portrayed as a "charming womanizer," a "rebellious bad guy," or an "irresponsible adventurer." Personal experience was superimposed on media images, creating a strong negative template," added Ksenia Savelyeva.
In youth circles, negative associations associated with a name are reinforced by content on social media.
— Often a person with a certain name becomes the hero of an Internet scandal or a viral meme. And if at first the attention of users is focused on a specific person, then after a while the negative flair "sticks" to the name itself, which is firmly entrenched in a damaged reputation, — said Grigory Maloletkov, CEO of the UNA dating service.
Moreover, the name stereotype provides a convenient psychological alibi.: Writing off a relationship failure as a "damn name" is much easier than analyzing the real reasons for the breakup or your mistakes. This is an attempt to manage the chaos of a relationship through a label, bypassing painful introspection. The name becomes a scapegoat for past injuries, Ksenia Savelyeva emphasized.
Who is at risk of getting into the hit parade of stereotypes
According to experts, the name is a social marker reflecting cultural and generational changes. These transformations are especially noticeable in the dynamics of newborn names, which over time forms new expectations and preferences of Russians. According to the registry Office, the most popular names for girls in Russia in the first half of 2025 were Sofia, Eva, Anna, Maria and Varvara. Mikhail, Alexander, Artyom, Matvey and Timofey are the leaders among the boys.
The choice of these names is explained by several factors. Firstly, a return to the roots and conservative values is a characteristic feature of modernity. Secondly, these names are universal and easily adaptable in the international environment, which is important in the era of globalization, explained Tatiana Pershina, Associate Professor of Statistics at the State University of Management.
In addition, all these names are of biblical origin, and the popularization of traditional values and the growing interest in Orthodoxy among young people directly affect the choice of names for children. A psychological factor also works: parents are instinctively drawn to what is close and understandable to them from birth, including names, Liana Gabrelian said.
The interviewee also noted that when choosing a name, its meaning plays an important role. Based on the meaning and interpretation, parents often try to convey the qualities inherent in its meaning to the child with the help of a name, thereby shaping his future. So, the popular name Mikhail means "like God," Anna means "grace," and Sofia means "wisdom."
It is expected that the positions of "classic" names will continue to strengthen in the coming years. At the same time, against the background of increasing interest in national identity, Old Slavic names such as Vasilisa, Varvara, Matvey and Timofey are gaining popularity. This indicates the growth of national identity and the strengthening of the cultural community of Russians, Tatiana Pershina added.
How to stop judging by name
The stereotypical perception of a name can become a real trap on the way to new acquaintances. However, awareness, a critical look at one's own reactions, and a willingness to go beyond the "name—label" can break down this barrier.
— Developed charisma, a good sense of humor and erudition help to break stereotypes. It is important to focus on the sensations and understand what feelings the person himself causes. Excessive demands and expectations can make it difficult to identify a suitable partner. If a person wants love, he will meet it. And if he really wants something else, someone who is also not interested in starting a family will be attracted," said matchmaker Anna Osipova.
Grigory Maloletkov advised the owners of names with ambiguous associations to play up this fact with the help of textual and visual details of the questionnaire.
— The name can be supplemented with a light positive description: "Nastya, who loves coffee and travel." This will help the name to acquire pleasant associations. You can also try using an abbreviated form — it often sounds friendlier and warmer. Bright photos and sincere interests in the profile also help to switch attention. When a person sees an enthusiastic interlocutor with a sense of humor, the name no longer seems so important," the speaker said.
If the name of a potential partner is annoying or causes rejection, it is worth trying to consciously remove this barrier. To do this, Larisa Karavaitseva, the chief psychologist of the Twinby dating service, recommends recognizing the problem and trying to understand why this name causes irritation. Next, you should focus on the person himself, pay attention to his behavior, communication style, and photographs. It is also useful to remember other pleasant people with a similar name — this will help break the stereotype.
The psychologist advises not to give up communication just because of the name, because personal contact can completely change the initial impression. Names, like cities or dishes, can open up from an unexpected angle. Ultimately, a person gets acquainted not with the name, but with the personality of a potential partner, and only she deserves attention.
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