And the girls later: why zoomers aren't interested in their personal lives
Today's young people minimize romantic relationships and are too busy with themselves. This peculiarity came to light when scientists conducted a study of how Russian students allocate their time. It turned out that they spend more time on TV series and podcasts than on dating and romantic courtship. Why young men and girls are not interested in their personal lives and whether this can be called a temporary phenomenon - in the material "Izvestia".
Digital subjects
Doctor of Philosophy, Professor, leading expert of the laboratory of digital technologies in the humanities at MEPhI Katerina Tikhomirova said that in the course of scientific work experts analyzed what kinds of activities and leisure activities young people aged 20 to 25 years devote precious hours and minutes.
- The main method of research was filling in chronocards. That is, the students meticulously kept a diary, noting what they spend their time on from morning to evening," Katerina Tikhomirova explained.
The respondents mentioned preparation for lectures, participation in webinars, foreign language classes, work or part-time jobs, social networking, eating and cooking, hygiene procedures, and sleeping. They devoted their leisure time to computer games, podcasts, movies and TV series. But it was found out that young men and girls spend little time with their parents, rarely go out for walks with friends. And only a few people mentioned love relationships (not only physical intimacy, but also the romantic side of this issue).
- An indirect result of the study was the conclusion that today's young people are withdrawn and inclined to escapism. This term means escaping from reality, society, culture, civilization in the opposite direction; choosing nature (eco-games), the "world" of solitude, fantasies," comments Katerina Tikhomirova.
Escapism also occurs in the romantic sphere, the expert complains. In fact, young people reason as follows: it is better to be alone, and in love too. Researchers were surprised that even students from Stavropol, Rostov-on-Don and Krasnodar avoided the topic of romance. And this is despite the fact that southerners are considered to be more sensual and usually do not skimp on emotions.
From the professor's point of view, the main criterion for such behavior is that modern youth is a "digital" subject. This generation was born and grew up in the era of gadgets, comprehending the world with the help of smart speakers, gaining knowledge from the Web.
- If before reality existed separately from virtuality, for those who were born in the era of smartphones, digital space is an integral part of their lives. It is their reality," Tikhomirova argues.
According to the philosopher, since the smart reality has been formed, a new person - a smart-subject with a completely different attitude to love, partner and understanding of oneself - is now being formed.
Parental experience
Representatives of older generations are also lost in puzzles, pondering what prevents the young from developing romantic relationships. Young are not driven into the framework of norms and decency, characteristic of the last century. Therefore, it would seem that there are no barriers to communicating with the opposite sex. These days there are a thousand ways to find a person with whom, for example, accidentally crossed paths in a company, on an airplane or at an event. And in the last century, the lack of a home phone or moving to another city sometimes separated people forever. It would seem that it is much easier to meet and build relationships now, but young people are in no hurry to do it.
Candidate of Psychological Sciences Alina Koroleva believes that the problem of asexuality is caused by a combination of several factors. In particular, parents whose lives are overloaded with solving problems in different spheres, too careful of their children. They create hothouse conditions for them, free them from difficulties, and meanwhile the challenges of fate and overcoming problems help a person to develop, to realize their true strength.
- This tendency to follow the path of least resistance is readily accepted by young people. Building relationships is a great degree of vulnerability, there is always the fear of rejection and tremendous emotional labor. Consequently, why "bother" when you can "push" this topic further away in your priority system?! - argues the psychologist.
People do not want to "work" - to get to know each other in real communication, to form joint events, to deal with conflicts and misunderstandings, emphasizes the expert. Also played a role disunity, which was formed in the times of Covid.
Another factor psychologist calls infantilization - parents strive to build emotionally warm relationships with their children, but not everyone is morally ready to let them go into adulthood. Subconsciously, moms and dads keep their offspring close to them, preventing them from forming adult responsibility. In fact, parents solve the issues of their already adult children in exchange for emotional closeness, and young people are not emotionally free for their own personal relationships.
- Meanwhile, most parents have accumulated intergenerational traumas. There is a tense emotional atmosphere in the home because adults solve their own internal problems at the expense of other family members. Conflict and far from warm relations of parents do not contribute to the desire of young people to create their own, personal relationships, - complains the psychologist.
Information noise
According to philosopher Tikhomirova, a significant role is also played by the fact that recently people have lost trust in other people. Smart-space is overloaded, there is a lot of information noise - irrelevant and sometimes even dangerous information for a person.
- No one trusts anyone - and this is a common problem, characteristic not only of us Russians. How can you distinguish in an overloaded smart space where it is - the real feeling? How can you understand that a person is not lying to you, not fantasizing? - argues Katerina Tikhomirova.
The philosopher excludes the fact that the deficit of romance is associated with an excess of frank information on the Web.
- Only illusion is available - we can't touch these people, we can only look, but a real, warm person is unavailable," says the philosophy professor.
Alina Koroleva also believes that the trends of the information field in recent decades systematically work on asexuality. On the one hand, everything is available, so the "forbidden fruit effect", which is sweet, no longer works. On the other hand, there are many things that teenagers are better off not seeing: for example, intrusive "advertising" of feminine hygiene products does not contribute to the development of sexuality.
- Even pylon dancing is no longer something for the bedroom and special places - it's all out in the open. But in this case, the principle of 'you can look, but you can't touch' works, which also breaks the formation of healthy sexuality," Koroleva comments.
Eternal love
Meanwhile, the need for love, embedded in people, has not disappeared anywhere and requires a way out. Especially since philosophers consider love to be a way of cognizing the world, including oneself. In search of the meaning of life and one's place in it, one cannot do without such knowledge.
- Through love for another person we understand ourselves: what we are, how we treat people and the world as a whole. And if a person consciously refuses this process of cognition, closes himself off, goes into his shell, he will not be able to cognize himself," says Katerina Tikhomirova.
The philosophy professor has a positive attitude. In her opinion, the modern generation is still just confused in its thoughts and feelings, because it is really at the stage of formation. Time will come and everything will fall into place. In a sense, today's twenty-year-olds can be called pioneers.
- Now, against the backdrop of global historical events, cultural self-identification is underway, including that of these new people. Hemingway and Remarque in the last century explored their generation, which had gone through, among other things, the filters of the First World War and the events associated with it. People of that time also lost the meaning of life, but then found it in love. And today, most likely, the same thing is happening," the expert comments.
Katerina Tikhomirova once again emphasizes that today's generation cannot be considered hopeless. Today's young people will definitely come out of their confined state into a living, real life.
The professor advises the representatives of older generations to treat the peculiarities of young people philosophically: "they seem strange to us because we still remember other times.
What young people think
The philosophy professor's optimistic views are not without reason - today's young people are not as cold and indifferent as older generations see them. Bachelor's degree students of the Higher School of Television of Lomonosov Moscow State University shared their views on romance with Izvestia.
Second-year student Daria Sergeeva believes that romance still occupies an important place in the lives of young people, makes relationships warmer and closer, and allows them to express their feelings and emotions.
- Romance for me is the ability to see beauty and love in simple moments, the ability to give another person attention and care. It is the creation of a special atmosphere and mutual understanding between partners, which make every day special and memorable, - says Sergeyeva.
Young experts do not believe that it is necessary to compare today's young people with their parents and grandparents, rightly believing that much depends on the time in which we live.
- The development of technology and social networks has changed the ways of communication and acquaintance. Many people prefer virtual interaction, which, of course, can reduce the level of romantic gestures," Daria Sergeeva argues.
According to freshman Veronika Drozdova, today's young people are probably less inclined to traditional displays of romance, preferring more practical and direct forms of communication. Especially since the pace of life has accelerated, new platforms of communication have emerged, and with them renewed forms of romantic interaction.
- But that doesn't mean that the desire for deep and sincere relationships has disappeared. Simply put, the algorithm for romantic relationships is modernizing, not disappearing. It acquires new functions and adapts to modern conditions. Instead of poems about love and pulling a pigtail - online communication in social networks, watching a movie together. The essence remains the same - building deep connections. Only the tools have changed," summarizes Drozdova.
According to Elena Evdokimova, a second-year undergraduate student, the psychologists' opinion that the current generation is prone to nostalgia testifies to the sensual nature of young people. Modern young men and women value memories, enjoy the aesthetics and atmosphere of their youth, which means there is plenty of romance in their lives.
- Nowadays there is no tendency for young men to woo girls for long periods of time, we don't write letters to each other or send them in the mail - we write short messages, send emoticons, flip through voice messages. Our romance is different, but it certainly exists," says Elena Evdokimova.
The student does not rule out that the romantic nature of the new generation is often confused with Zoomer infantilism.
