The psychologist spoke about the reasons for the decrease in desire between partners

The fading of passion in long-term relationships is not always associated with age and physiological changes. More often, the desire is influenced by the quality of the relationship, the lack of novelty and the loss of personal space of the partners. Anna Vasilyeva, an existential psychologist and mediator, told Izvestia about this on August 5.

According to the expert, there may indeed be physiological reasons for a decrease in passion, but in such cases it is necessary to take into account the state of health and consult a doctor. If the hormonal level is normal, it is the relationship between the partners that has the main effect on desire.

Vasilyeva noted that passion is largely related to novelty and inner tension. When people completely move into their comfort zone and become predictable to each other, emotional interest may decrease.

"As people get older, they enter a certain comfort zone, a zone where they know their partner, they know what he's going to say, how he's going to react. And it is this predictability that negatively affects passion, it kills passion," the psychologist explained.

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According to the expert, relationships are also affected by excessive rapprochement, when partners lose their own interests, time and space. In such a situation, people stop missing each other, and the partner may be perceived not as a separate person, but as a person performing a certain role.

Vasilyeva stressed that one of the common mistakes is the loss of boundaries within a couple. When a couple completely erases their personal space and ceases to keep an element of secrecy, the relationship can become more like a domestic partnership.

"Eroticism is kept secret. And the brain stops perceiving the other person as a mystery, as something desirable, but simply as a roommate. The next mistake is when one of the spouses turns on hypercontrol and assumes such a role," the specialist noted.

She clarified that when a person begins to take the position of a parent who constantly corrects and controls the other, the feeling of equality necessary for passion disappears.

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According to Vasilyeva, it is possible to return intimacy if love and respect remain in the couple. You can start by returning the elements that were at the beginning of the relationship: shared rituals, lightness, play, and emotional contact.

She added that humor, spontaneity, and small acts of attention play an important role. Partners should return sensuality through touching, dating and time spent together without necessarily waiting for a sexual result.

Vasilyeva paid special attention to the appearance and attitude of a person to himself. According to her, taking care of your own body and grooming is a sign of respect for yourself and your partner.

Anna Makarova, a clinical psychologist, coach and business consultant, said on May 12 that situations when a person finds himself drawn into a "love triangle" are always associated with rigidity in roles, beliefs, and scenarios that repeat themselves from time to time. At the same time, the process of breaking a "love triangle" can be associated with pain and risks: a person is required to make specific decisions and face the consequences of their actions.