Psychologists have revealed the causes of the rescuer syndrome
Rescuer syndrome is formed in childhood, most often in dysfunctional families, where the child gets used to ignoring his own needs for the sake of the emotional well-being of adults. All the details are in the Izvestia article.
Causes of the syndrome
Evgenia Bereza, a clinical psychologist, specialist in psychosomatics and oncopsychology, explained that the rescuer syndrome is formed in childhood. This often happens in dysfunctional families, where the child learns to ignore his needs in order to provide emotional support to his parents. In such conditions, love becomes dependent on the usefulness of a person, which gives rise to an attitude of hyperresponsibility.
The specialist emphasized that rescuers choose partners who need care in order to reduce their own anxiety and feel important. Choosing a weak link helps a person to serve fears of being unwanted or unloved, compensating for inner insecurity.
"Helping others becomes a way for him to maintain his self-esteem and self-worth. This is, of course, as a compensation for internal insecurity," said Bereza.
The boundary between support and sacrifice
Ekaterina Boronkina, a business psychologist and head of the online school PUZZLE Academy of Psychological Excellence, pointed out the difference between support and self-sacrifice. Support is a free choice from the state of a resource, whereas self-sacrifice turns into a habitual background of life and a way to calm inner anxiety. If a person can't say no because of guilt, the boundaries in the relationship have already been broken.
According to Birch, healthy love implies respect for the autonomy and choice of another person. Rescue replaces the partner's functions, making decisions for him and depriving him of the opportunity to grow up.
"Rescue, on the contrary, just supports dependence and infantilism in a person," said Birch.
Influence on the partner's development
An asymmetry quickly arises in the relationship with the rescuer, transforming the union into a parent—child structure. The protected partner is deprived of the opportunity to face the consequences of his decisions, which stops his psychological growth. Boronkina stressed that the rescuer actually broadcasts distrust of the ability of a loved one to cope on their own.
The accumulation of resentment and chronic exhaustion become the natural end of such a relationship. The rescuer often expects an unspoken gratitude for his investments, but does not know how to declare his own needs directly. As a result, both members of the union may feel unhappy, despite having deep feelings for each other.
"Help and desire nourish and give energy. Helping out of fear is exhausting, even if it looks exactly the same," Boronkina said.
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