Psychologists talked about the consequences of childhood trauma in adulthood
More and more Russians between the ages of 20 and 60 are turning to psychologists with problems rooted in childhood. On June 17, Izvestia found out why parents' emotional coldness, cult of achievements, and family conflicts continue to affect relationships, self-esteem, and quality of life decades later.
Reasons for requests
According to psychologist Irina Berman, Russians between the ages of 20 and 60 are increasingly returning to the analysis of their childhood. This flow is not caused by fashion, but by the need to work through delayed feelings. Most often, clients face the consequences of their parents' emotional coldness, a cult of achievement, and family instability, including addiction or divorce.
"I was fed, clothed, but not hugged." In adulthood, this translates into difficulties with intimacy, fear of rejection, and a constant feeling of "I'm not good enough," Berman said.
Clinical psychologist Andrey Drachev points to the problem of alexithymia — difficulties in recognizing one's own emotions. This is often found in people who grew up in families where it was not customary to show feelings. Yana Sukasyan, a psychotherapist and member of the CBT Association, also highlights the phenomenon of early adulthood, especially characteristic of millennials who, as children, were forced to take on the role of caring adults for their loved ones.
"People over the age of 45 have suppressed emotions, difficulties with intimacy, and a sense of loss of meaning," Sukasyan noted.
Injury symptoms
Psychologist and teacher Polina Sukhova divides the main traumas into three types: aggression from adults, lack of unconditional love and the consequences of violence. In adults, this manifests itself through perfectionism, obsequiousness, panic before criticism, or difficulties in the intimate sphere.
"The brain hides violence in the subconscious, but the body remembers everything: smells, touches, sounds. Signs in adulthood are panic attacks on similar stimuli, aversion to intimacy or, conversely, hypersexuality, and unexplained hatred of the opposite sex," Sukhova noted.
Body-oriented therapist Alexandra Green notes that destructive scenarios are often associated with the figure of an authoritarian father or mother who is forced to ignore the child's feelings.
Sukasyan emphasizes that many problems, such as burnout, procrastination, or codependent relationships, are a direct result of violating personal boundaries in childhood. The psychotherapist explains that after the age of 35, clients most often come with chronic fatigue and depression caused by a long-term survival regime.
Dealing with emotions
Experts call recognizing the right to any emotion an important step in therapy. Psychologist Anton Savitsky notes that there are still myths in society that prohibit showing anger or fear. Attempts to drown out negative experiences with positivity give only a short-term effect, while it is important to learn how to live a state of anxiety without suppressing it.
"Childhood psychological trauma is an instruction that the brain wrote down at the age of two, five, seven and continues to execute today. We grow up, change jobs, cities, partners, but the fear of becoming an outcast, the feeling of "I'm not good enough" or the panic of criticism come back again and again," Sukhova said.
A resource for changes
Despite the severity of the redesigned experience, experts see the current situation as a resource for change. Psychologist Natalia Averina explains that the addicted brain adapts through a new experience of secure communication and the gradual building of healthy relationships with others.
Experts note that a conscious approach to their past allows modern adults not to broadcast destructive behaviors to the next generations.
"Today's flood of appeals is not about weakness or fashion. It's about delayed feelings. People from 20 to 60+ years old go back to their childhood, because that's where the scenarios they live by were formed," concluded Berman.
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