In front of everyone's eyes: how the children of famous bloggers will grow up
The era of social media and digital platforms is significantly changing relationships within the family, especially when parents become public figures. The society has drawn attention to ethical issues regarding the balance between ostentatious living and the comfort of children whose parents earn money by blogging. Minors experience psychological discomfort from the excessive openness of the personal lives of moms and dads in front of a wide audience, constantly compare themselves with them and even dream of plastic surgery. Izvestia figured out where the clear boundaries between family and media lie, and also figured out how to protect a child from public space.
Mistakes in parenting
From the point of view of psychiatry, the behavior of bloggers who live for show is associated with their increased demonstrativeness. This was stated to Izvestia by psychiatrist and sexologist Alexei Vilkov. According to the expert, such demonstrativeness is most often innate, that is, it is a biological feature. Sometimes it is the result of mistakes in parenting, when a child is raised like an "idol of the family."
People who belong to a hysterical or hysterical personality type tend to flaunt their lives, without limits and limitations. And in a more severe case, according to the psychiatrist, we are talking about the fact that a person is characterized by a hysterical or demonstrative personality disorder, when demonstrativeness and the need for attention from the outside come to the fore.
"These people need to always be the center of attention, receiving it from others," Vilkov explains. — But this attention is always not enough for them, so they are ready to do the most senseless, strange or even dangerous things for him. Because with a lack of attention, they feel uncomfortable: they may experience depressive experiences, anxiety, and even a kind of emotional withdrawal.
Alexey Vilkov considers the propensity for plastic surgery, which many bloggers cannot do without, to be a result of demonstrativeness, a desire to please the largest number of people.
— On the other hand, the desire to change one's appearance may be associated with hypochondriacal behavior, if, for example, someone feels some flaws and shortcomings in themselves, perhaps imaginary ones, - the psychiatrist continues. — The condition when a person tries to change himself for the better or cure himself of some imaginary defect is called dysmorphophobia.
Moreover, in the case of the desire to reshape one's appearance, one should not blame the tendency to self-harm, the expert believes. It plays a lesser role in this case. According to the psychiatrist, self—harm usually manifests itself differently - a person cuts himself, gets tattoos and piercings. But it does not come to serious operations in this case.
How bloggers' children live
Blogging is still a young format. And experts have yet to assess the impact that representatives of this field have on the audience and how this activity affects the children of the bloggers themselves. The discussion of the results of a study by Chinese scientists published in the Journal of Health Psychology caused a loud resonance on the Web. Researchers believe that blogging moms influence children, forcing them to experience a complex of imperfections and even dream of plastic surgery. From the point of view of Russian experts, this topic, which is new to our society, really deserves special attention.
Research on the impact of parents' blogging activities on the psyche of children has been underway for some time, but it is important to treat them critically, says Daria Serebryakova, a clinical psychologist and deputy head of the rehabilitation program at Dr. Isaeva's Clinic. According to the expert, it is not always clear how such an analysis is carried out, which factors of influence are highlighted. And, most importantly, not enough time has passed yet to fully assess the long-term effects of such an impact. But it is already possible to identify its negative aspects.
— As a psychologist, including one who participated in scientific research, I would immediately suggest separating the blogging activity itself and how exactly it is integrated into the daily life of a family and a child. This is where the main risks usually arise," says Serebryakova.
The clinical psychologist emphasizes that the work of a blogger is directly related to constant feedback – comments, ratings, audience reactions, as well as the need to constantly improve their appearance. When thousands or even millions of eyes are looking at you, it is extremely difficult to remain indifferent to how you look.
— The child sees the difference between reality and the image in the blog. He may be faced with the fact that a natural look — without filters and makeup — can cause a negative reaction from the audience," says Serebryakova. — At the same time, he does not always have an understanding of the context of blogging — that the increased demands on appearance are related to the specifics of the profession, with advertising, with sales. There is an imaginary feeling that in everyday life it is also necessary to be absolutely perfect — to constantly monitor appearance, clothes, poses.
As a result, according to the expert, a very strong dependence on public opinion is formed. Against the background of the constant need to create the perfect picture, a person finds himself in a state of chronic anxiety, it is difficult for him to relax. This applies not only to appearance, but also to the whole organization of life — landscapes, locations, entertainment. "Even rest ceases to be rest and turns into stressful work, where in vulnerable, personal moments it is necessary to demonstrate perfectionism," complains the clinical psychologist.
An outwardly perfect blogger mom affects her children negatively, because they, trying to imitate her, begin to look for imaginary flaws in themselves, warns psychiatrist Vilkov. Such children develop an inferiority complex, which can lead to depression and anxiety.
— There is a risk that over time the personality of such children will deform and their character will change. And then they will need the help of psychiatrists," Vilkov comments. — Most likely, in the future they will also become bloggers and try to achieve parental success. Or, because of their own inferiority complex, they will suffer from severe depression due to the fact that they cannot be like their mother. And this will affect their health, efficiency, and quality of life.
Reality and reality shows
From Daria Serebryakova's point of view, the greatest danger to the psyche of children is a situation in which there is no clear line of demarcation between the professional activity of a parent and his ordinary life. This happens when blogging takes place right in front of a child's eyes and is not accompanied by explanations of where "work" is and where "reality" is.
— Many popular blogging formats are associated with beauty content, personal life demonstrations, reality show genre, and relationship stories, - Serebryakova continues. — It is not always appropriate to broadcast these topics in front of children, as they violate certain boundaries and may be incomprehensible or traumatic for the child's psyche. This is especially true of sexualized content, which is often dictated by the sales rules of the advertising market, and is formed right in front of the child.
A clinical psychologist warns that in such conditions, children form false ideas about social norms, about what behavior is appropriate in certain situations. Sometimes children begin to reproduce the behaviors they see in real life, where they turn out to be completely inappropriate.
— In addition, the organization of the filming process, if it is conducted at home, often requires that children behave quietly, agree with what they may internally disagree with, — warns the clinical psychologist. — As a result, a child can be formed as a "subordinate little employee", getting used to being silent and not expressing his opinion.
As for children who are not related to a particular blogger, but observe the content from the outside, Serebryakova advises to understand that they are also not always able to critically separate the advertising image from reality. And unaccompanied by adults, such views can increase distortions in the perception of normality, body and self-worth of a person.
Side effects
If blogging becomes a part of everyday life and is not separated from the usual format of family existence, then the risks, according to the clinical psychologist, increase. The child is faced with the fact that his mother is constantly stressed, especially in situations that initially involve rest — at resorts, on the beach, on vacation.
"Instead of relaxing, children see that every "outing" is accompanied by the need to look perfect, preen up, and maintain a certain image," says the clinical psychologist. — Festive and joyful moments turn into work. In such a situation, a child may form the idea that a person's value is directly related to external perfection and the attention of others.
According to the expert, this is not an inevitable side effect of the profession, but it becomes a reality where the boundaries between work and leisure, picture and life are blurred, and where the child is not explained that the blog is a separate professional format.
— It is obvious that children copy their parents. It's not for nothing that there is a phrase: "children don't listen to us, children look at us." The behavioral patterns of parents naturally enter the child's life," Serebryakova continues. — On the one hand, we can see how, for example, a girl begins to apply super efforts in order to look perfect and attract attention. On the other hand, such behavior outside the context of filming can lead to rejection and even bullying, as it often turns out to be inappropriate in everyday life.
A clinical psychologist advises you to remember that people are usually loved not for their extravagant outfits, but for the opportunity to be close, for warmth, for a space for communication and spontaneity. The filming format does not provide for this, and a child who learns an exclusively demonstrative model runs the risk of encountering difficulties in real interpersonal relationships.
Blog block
Anyway, blogging has really become an integral part of modern culture. And it can be a good, useful and beautiful profession in itself, Serebryakova believes. The expert calls a clear separation of the work format and the life format a key recommendation for this.
"If the content may be incomprehensible or traumatic for children, then it is important to take it outside the everyday family space – to shoot in the studio, organize separate trips, and work while the children are at school or kindergarten," comments Daria Serebryakova.
Doctors and scientists have long noted that virtual reality requires a special attitude, a kind of digital hygiene. This applies to the whole society. In the event that blogging life does intersect with everyday life, a clinical psychologist recommends constantly commenting on what is happening to children, explaining that there is a real life with much looser rules and requirements, and there is a picture, an advertisement for which money is paid.
— This is the basis of psychological hygiene — the preservation of boundaries, the explanation of context and a constant reminder that the screen image is not equal to everyday reality, — sums up Daria Serebryakova.
According to Alexey Vilkov, such hygiene consists primarily in the fact that it is necessary to limit the time spent watching video content on the Internet.
"Viral videos and videos negatively affect the functioning of the brain, overexcite the nervous system, and promote the release of the so—called fast dopamine, the pleasure hormone," says Alexey Vilkov. — It's addictive. As a result, there is a gradual cognitive decline, that is, people become stupid, they assimilate ordinary information worse, which also affects their performance.
The psychiatrist advises Internet users to be critical of bloggers, realizing that there is a lot of exaggeration, falsehood, manipulation and deception in their content. "This is not reality," the expert emphasizes. "If a person maintains a critical attitude towards entertainment content and limits the time they receive information, they have every chance of reducing the negative impact on their mind and psyche."
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