The psychologist named the differences between a comfortable relationship and boredom

After the first months of a relationship filled with vivid emotions, many couples face a new stage — feelings become calmer, meetings become more familiar, and the anxious expectation of messages disappears. At such moments, partners often have a question: has love moved into the comfort stage or has the relationship just become boring. Larisa Karavaytseva, chief psychologist of Twinby dating service, told Izvestia on June 9 how to distinguish one from the other.

According to the expert, outwardly, comfort and boredom can really look similar: there are fewer dramatic experiences, emotional swings and uncertainty in a relationship. However, psychologically, these are completely different states.

"A comfortable relationship is characterized by a sense of security, predictability, and inner peace. Next to a partner, a person can relax without having to constantly prove their worth or seek attention. Boredom, on the contrary, occurs when interaction ceases to arouse interest and a sense of emotional involvement," Karavaytseva explained.

As the expert noted, calmness often scares people who are used to perceiving love through the prism of struggle, jealousy or emotional instability. In such cases, the absence of strong feelings may be mistakenly perceived as the fading of feelings. According to the psychologist, some people get so used to emotional stress that they begin to associate it with love. When a relationship becomes stable and secure, the brain may perceive this as a loss of interest, although in reality it is only a matter of the disappearance of anxiety.

She stressed that love does not have to be constantly accompanied by strong emotions. The reliability and predictability of relationships often go unnoticed precisely because they are perceived as a natural part of life. However, it is they who create the basis for intimacy and trust.

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At the same time, the expert warned that not all calmness is a sign of a healthy relationship. Sometimes emotional emptiness can be hidden behind external comfort. In such cases, the partners continue to stay together out of habit, out of fear of change or lack of obvious reasons for parting.

"To understand whether we are talking about comfort or boredom, the specialist recommends paying attention to the quality of contact between partners. It is important whether there is still interest in each other's thoughts and experiences, whether there is a desire to discuss not only everyday issues, but also personal topics, as well as the desire to spend time together and create new joint experiences," said the specialist.

According to Karavaytseva, boredom in relationships often appears not because people are no longer interested in each other, but because they no longer notice changes in their partner. Over time, many people form a stable image of the person next to them and stop rediscovering it. The expert believes that in order to maintain intimacy, it is important to return to the relationship not drama, but presence — interest, attention, tenderness, a sense of humor and a willingness to share their experiences. It is these elements that help to maintain an emotional connection years later.

In February, Anastasia Cardiakos, a family psychologist and psychotherapist, told why single people are afraid of never meeting love and what to do about it. She noted that one of the main reasons for the belief "I won't meet anyone" is related to self-esteem. If a person feels unworthy, they automatically underestimate their chances of happiness.