The psychologist talked about the difference between love and habit in a relationship

Often in a relationship, people are together no longer because they love each other, but because they are used to common interaction. How to distinguish these states in a relationship, June 28, "Gazeta.Ru" told psychologist Stanislav Sambursky.

"Habit is not tenderness or passion. This is predictability. This is a brain that does not want to waste extra energy on rebuilding a scenario. <...> In psychology, this is called emotional inertia: when a relationship continues not because there is a living feeling in it," the psychologist noted.

People often think that love is very emotional throughout the entire period of a relationship. However, as the expert explains, an emotional outburst occurs only at the beginning of a relationship due to a surge in hormones. Then people calm down and maintain their inner warmth, but sometimes without noticing how it disappears and turns into a habit.

To distinguish habit from feelings, the psychologist suggested taking a simple test in which you need to honestly answer some questions to yourself.

"Imagine that your husband is not there. He left for a month. Or even for a year. What do you feel? <...> Feelings are not big words. These are small impulses. <...> A habit is when you know that he has arrived. Because he always gets there. And you don't care," said the psychologist.

Men can also take this test by introducing their beloved.

If a person begins to feel unwanted changes in feelings for their partner, then it is worthwhile, according to the psychologist, to first understand what exactly is missing in the relationship.

"Speak up. To worry in silence is to put a time bomb under the relationship. Go into the body. <...> If you are not breathing next to your partner, this is a signal. Don't be afraid to ask honest questions," Sambursky recommended.

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Earlier, on June 27, Sergey Martynov, the founder of the International Institute of Psychosomatic Health, a teacher of the CBT course, spoke about the dangers of workaholism. According to the expert, workaholics use professional activity as a way to avoid personal problems, emotional worries and even basic rest.