In the service without friendship: zoomers canceled novels with colleagues
According to open sources, about a third of Russians have had office affairs at least once in their careers. Non-business relations flared up even in those years when the party and trade union committees meticulously monitored the moral character of employees. But this tradition has "stumbled" on generation Z — zoomers consider the workforce only as colleagues at work, and in ordinary life they are in no hurry to indulge in romance. Izvestia investigated the situation.
Not up to novels
Over the past year, the number of affairs at work has almost halved, and the ratio of cases when employees feel sympathy for colleagues is about the same. The responsibility for cooling feelings fell on the shoulders of the zoomers — they allegedly avoid affairs at work, fearing reprimands and dismissals.
The representatives of generation Z interviewed by the Izvestia correspondent agreed that they are not particularly interested in office affairs. However, they were skeptical that the main reason for the lack of love lyrics in the workplace of the "olds" is the fear of young professionals being reprimanded or losing their jobs. Moreover, zoomers do not particularly value a specific place of service and are ready to change it more easily than millennials and even more so X-men. The younger generation is in no hurry to have affairs outside of work. Zoomers' priority is to communicate with friends online on topics of interest, as well as travel and self—development.
— First of all, most of our peers work remotely. Secondly, if zoomers go out to the office, it's mostly older colleagues around. It's not really interesting for us to communicate with them, let alone have an affair," 24-year-old Polina shared with Izvestia.
According to her, everyone who wanted a serious relationship and aspired to get married had already gone to the registry office before the age of 20. And the rest postpone both romances and marriage for the long term — after 30 and even after 40. This causes confusion among the parents of zoomers. The Zetas and millennials, raised on the films "Office Romance" and "The Most Charming and Attractive," are surprised by their indifference to communication more romantic than just messaging. But they have to accept that children are fundamentally different from their parents.
Lack of corporate interests
From the point of view of psychology, what is the reason for the lack of interest of young people in office novels and others? The answer lies in the question itself — zoomers have enough communication outside of work, clinical psychologist and sexologist Sergey Volkov emphasized in an interview with Izvestia. Even if this communication is virtual.
"Besides, they perceive work solely as a tool of life, and not a part of it," the expert comments. — This is the main difference between zoomers and older generations. They are not emotionally involved in the company: the concept of "we are one family here" causes them irritation and anger. Zoomers consider work to be a necessity, so any emotional manifestations associated with involvement in the team are severely suppressed by them.
According to him, this applies not only to novels, but also to team building, birthday celebrations, corporate events, etc. Zoomers perceive an interest in personal life at work as disrespect and even an insult.
The environment in which acquaintances arise is also changing, Vladislav Obushinsky, a public representative of the Pressindex analytical agency, emphasizes.
— For Generation Z, smartphones and social media have long been the main communication space. This is where dating, flirting, first correspondence, and meeting arrangements take place," he explains.
This is confirmed, in particular, by the popularity of fandoms, online communities where fans of, for example, fashion series and bands "gather".
— We've actually been on the Internet since we were born, that's why we prefer to communicate on all topics online, — explains Polina.
The work collective is gradually ceasing to be the main place to find a partner, as it was for previous generations, Vladislav Obushinsky emphasizes.
"We regularly see this in studies of digital user activity," he continues. — Young people remain the most active audience of social networks and messengers, they are the ones who pick up new memes, trends and communication formats faster than others, forming a significant part of user discussions. If most of the communication is transferred to the digital environment, then it is quite natural that personal relationships increasingly begin there, rather than in the office.
The decline in the popularity of office romances due to the fact that zoomers are not interested in them reflects a change in the dating model rather than fear of management or disciplinary consequences, the editorial interlocutor emphasizes.
The clock is ticking
Meanwhile, young people do not deny their personal lives, but simply postpone it for later. Moms and dads of zoomers, dissatisfied with this course of things, forget that they themselves once liked to emphasize the importance of education as the main key to success. To do this, the Zetas and millennials took their children "to educational events," hired tutors, and waited with bated breath for the exam results. And the phrase from the movie "Moscow does not believe in tears" "At 40, life is just beginning" brightened up the lives of more than one generation. And those who were persistently reminded by boomer parents that "the clock is ticking", waved them off with words: "But in the West, they build a career first, and then they give birth."
— The fact is that only such a model of life is really successful in our time, — continues Sergey Volkov. — Young people have practically no resources and opportunities for other ways to live their lives. Only if you give up some part of it. And all over the world, most people choose to give up personal relationships for a while, because it is most beneficial for a person starting to live in our historical period.
It can be said that most zoomers do not go on dates, do not stand on duty near the entrances of their chosen ones and do not shoot their eyes during the lunch break, in fact, because they do not feel interest in those things that are not beneficial to them.
— It's time to admit that all the disadvantages of this generation are actually common sense and healthy selfishness, — says the clinical psychologist. — Zoomers do not see any positive result for themselves in romances at work or in romantic relationships in general. This generation does not understand the value of romance, moonlight serenades. Both men and women of this age ask themselves the question: "Why should I do this?".
The interlocutor of the editorial office emphasizes that the older generations see in this the denial, threat and disobedience of arrogant "schoolchildren." And young people do not reject the possibility of romantic relationships, but only ask to explain what their value is.
— Older generations don't have any firm concept of relationships based on reality rather than fiction. We cannot explain, and most importantly, prove, why love is important. Zoomers just don't believe in what they think doesn't exist," the expert concludes.
Psychological trauma
Live communication makes many girls and boys want to withdraw into themselves and not open up. According to the figurative expression of a representative of the most discussed generation, some of them "seem to be covered with needles" and reject any courtship.
— Most often this happens because zoomers have already experienced teenage dramas at the age of 16 and are now afraid of new relationships, — Polina comments. — Some even seriously believe that if you don't have a serious relationship before the age of 20, then nothing will happen.
Sergey Volkov sees a reasonable beginning in such a reaction to past problems: this is clearly a traumatic experience, and trauma is not the norm.
— They think: if they have already had a painful experience of a relationship, then why should they return to a place where it was painful? — says a clinical psychologist. — There must be some meaning to this. When a leg is broken, a person treats it for a reason, but because he wants to return to his usual quality of life.
Consequently, zoomers wait it out, assessing the situation, adapting to it and healing injuries with the help of psychologists. This is how they differ from their mothers and grandmothers, who, after a heart injury, rushed back into battle according to the principle of the poet Larisa Rubalskaya, "I'm ready to burn and love a hundred more times."
The parents of girls most often put the responsibility for the "neutral status" on the boys. They say they behave sluggishly — they don't take care of each other, but only make friends. Many young men are really not ready to take decisive action, and their range of interests is limited to computer games and virtual communication. On condition of anonymity, the young people admitted that they are sometimes prevented from moving to a romantic relationship by fear: suddenly, for some reason, the relationship will not stick together, and the girl or her parents will follow the principle and "tell you where you need to go." But friendship and online communication are devoid of risk.
— And it's true, — confirms the clinical psychologist. — The trend when men of all ages refuse to communicate due to fears that they will be accused, for example, of rape, is gaining more and more momentum.
Not everything is gone: girls are interested in football players
However, despite their caution and thorough approach to personal relationships, zoomers are no strangers to interest in the opposite sex. A vivid example of the fact that all is not lost is the attention of girls to the football World Cup. It is believed that there have never been such a large number of beautiful players in the entire history of broadcasts, which did not go unnoticed. And the zoomers, following the millennials, are not shy in epithets, discussing the appearance of wonderful guys.
— In this case, the "feminine principle" has already won: girls are interested in beautiful football players. Only the form has changed — now they do it on the Internet," says Sergey Volkov.
Optimists believe that zoomers will definitely deal with injuries, acquire resources, log off the Network and take up their personal lives. But their task is to approach this as intelligently as possible.
— Zoomers are a generation that grew up in unique conditions. And the only way to determine where they are right and where they are wrong is to leave them alone. Let the generation develop the way it wants to. Our experience is decades of history that have already passed into the past and will never return, it is not suitable for someone else's future," the clinical psychologist believes.
In his opinion, the zoomers themselves are the only ones who will be able to decide what to do with what the older generations consider a problem. Society is not homogeneous and does not develop linearly — the laws of social development do not obey the laws of direct mechanistic logic.
— There are trends that determine the image of this development — for zoomers it is individualism and their own happiness, — continues the interlocutor of the editorial board. — If we let them be like that, then we will be surrounded by a society of happy people. Just not as it was 50 years ago, "The happiness of all is the happiness of everyone," but, on the contrary, "The happiness of everyone is the happiness of all." Humanity is still moving in the direction of development, but now on a different path.
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