A sexologist explained the difference in men's frankness with their wives and mistresses

Men are more likely to discuss sexual fantasies with their mistresses than with their spouses, which is not due to a lack of feelings in marriage, but to psychological barriers and fear of judgment. Irina Sannikova, a psychologist and sexologist, told Izvestia about this on July 4.

According to the expert, the key factor is the fear of a negative assessment from the wife, who is perceived in the family system as a significant personality evaluator. As a result, the man fears that frankness may damage his image of a "good husband and father."

"With a lover, these role restrictions don't exist, so it's easier to talk about desires. A man is not afraid that he will be judged for what he should not want," Sannikova said.

Sannikova noted that in marriage, sexuality often gives way to domestic and family responsibilities, which makes the intimate sphere less free for experimentation and frank conversations. In addition, men tend to divide topics according to the degree of security of the discussion, and sexual fantasies often fall into the category of "risky", which are easier not to voice in the family.

"Sexual fantasies have nothing to do with adultery, but they are afraid that they may be misunderstood. This fear generates secrets and separation in a couple, and not the very content of fantasies," said Sannikova.

The expert stressed that a safe dialogue without judgment, as well as interest in the partner's desires on the part of both spouses, helps to reduce tension in a couple. According to her, an open discussion of intimate topics in a trusting atmosphere can strengthen relationships and increase the level of intimacy between partners.

Anna Makarova, a clinical psychologist, coach and business consultant, said on May 12 that situations when a person finds himself involved in a "love triangle" are always associated with rigidity in roles, beliefs, and scenarios that repeat themselves from time to time. At the same time, the process of breaking a "love triangle" can be associated with pain and risks: a person is required to make specific decisions and face the consequences of their actions.