A small life: how can a child spend the summer profitably
Summer holidays are good for parents because they have finally ended worries about homework and worries about grades for tests. But, on the other hand, school life keeps children on a certain schedule, which is easier for adults to adjust to than the summer chaos. And instead of the old worries, new ones appear. What a child does when his parents are not at home, whether it is necessary to repeat the material he has learned in the summer and how to protect children on the street — in the Izvestia material.
How to study in the summer
In three months, a child risks completely falling out of the educational process if he does not remember that a new school year is ahead, says speech therapist, psychologist, teacher of Russian language and literature, author of the book "I speak, Read and write correctly" Inna Bogoroditskaya. Therefore, it is better not to forget about the repetition of what was done in the summer, but the approach here should be differentiated.
"If a student studies well and does not experience serious difficulties, then summer can be used primarily for recreation, as well as to broaden their horizons and deepen their knowledge," the expert explains. — These can be books on history, geography, biology and other subjects. No one has canceled the traditional summer reading lists.
In the event that a child has problems with learning, especially in key subjects, it is not worth abandoning classes, warns the interlocutor of the editorial office. Memory has its own peculiarities — some information falls out forever if you do not return to it periodically. Moreover, according to the expert, modern children often have difficulties with concentration, as well as with short-term and long-term memory. Without regular practice, knowledge quickly disappears.
— Such children should be trained additionally, — says a speech therapist-psychologist. — However, it is important to understand that there are also useless and sometimes even harmful tasks. For example, if a child has dysgraphia, then endless dictation or reading aloud without taking into account the recommendations of a specialist may not help, but worsen the situation.
Parents of such children should not stop classes with a teacher, tutor, speech therapist, speech pathologist, or neuropsychologist, even in the summer.
"But classes can be conducted in a more gentle mode than during the school year, for example, once a week or twice a week," Bogoroditskaya continues. — Then by the beginning of the new school year, the child will be rested, but prepared and will not find himself in a situation where he has to rebuild everything from scratch.
The Izvestia interlocutor recommends discussing the summer lesson plan in advance, involving the child in decision-making. For example, it would be good to invite him to choose for himself which subject to pay more attention to, where to take a break for a rest period. "This approach will help to avoid feeling pressure and will not turn summer classes into a heavy duty," explains the teacher, adding that the main thing is to maintain a balance between rest and development so that the child does not lose the joy of summer holidays.
— It is commendable if parents want to use the summer to improve their child in subjects, but do not forget that the student is tired after the school year and is ready for rest, — the expert comments. — I would recommend taking at least one or two weeks off for a full rest without a study load. After that, you can gradually return to classes.
Bogoroditskaya advises paying attention to the emotional atmosphere of classes. For example, you should not constantly criticize a child or focus only on mistakes. This way he will lose not only interest in studying, but also faith in himself and his abilities. If you notice and encourage even small successes, then classes will be perceived more easily.
Strict regime holidays
An important point is that the summer schedule, of course, should be more free than during the school year, but it is impossible to completely abandon the daily routine, Inna Bogoroditskaya emphasizes. It is unacceptable for a child to sleep until the evening and spend the whole night at the computer.
— Certain allowances are possible. For example, if a child gets up at seven in the morning during the school year, he may wake up later in the summer. However, a reasonable time frame should still be maintained," she says. — A common situation when a teenager confuses day with night is extremely undesirable for health. Nighttime vigils at the computer, games and gadgets should not become the norm.
The issue of daily routine is so important that adults should maintain reasonable control even when their son or daughter is 16-17 years old. At this age, a teenager remains a child who needs a good night's sleep, the specialist notes.
— It is important to remember that the daily routine is directly related to health. Sleep time, nutrition, physical activity, staying outdoors and following healthy habits largely determine the quality of rest and readiness for the new school year, she argues.
If a problem with sleep has already occurred, then in some cases it may be necessary to consult a psychologist or a neurologist.
What to be afraid of on the street
There is no single solution to help minimize the possible risks associated with independence in the summer, says Ksenia Lapshina, psychologist of the children's clinic "Be Healthy", rehabilitologist, regressologist. We can only highlight the general trends peculiar to the social environment in which we live. The expert emphasizes the importance of communication between children and parents — this is one of the safety conditions.
— If adults are silent and looking at the phone, then the minor will find this communication on the Internet, because emotional contact is important to him, — says the interlocutor of Izvestia. — And you can open up emotionally online if there is no sincerity in expressing emotions at home or there may even be a punishment for it.
And here the psychologist advises to be especially careful. Emotional revelations on the Internet can be followed by online grooming, sexual extortion, requests to send intimate photos or videos, "undressing" on camera, and deepfake abuse. According to the expert, these risks are now considered to be among the most urgent and growing. Lapshina considers contact between adults and children to be the best "safety pill". She also encourages you to take your mind off the phone to talk or just hug your child.
Olga Umanova, a clinical psychologist at the Center for Harmony and Health at the Be Healthy — Nakhabino clinic, adds that "Digital princes" who play on the lack of parental attention and emotional intimacy lure girls into a trap with hidden, toxic threats.
—And today, the street and the Internet are communicating vessels," she continues. — The main problem is that virtual threats are physically embodied in reality, and vice versa.
How should a child behave with strangers
As for the street, one of the main parental fears is maniacs and pedophiles. Olga Umanova advises to discard movie cliches and think about the fact that these people rarely look like marginals. Well-groomed and polite, they know how to "mirror" the interests of the child and inspire his trust. Therefore, attention should be focused primarily on the manner of behavior of a person who suddenly approached a student on the street.
— The marker of danger is that an adult adequate person will never ask for help from a child, — explains the clinical psychologist. — If a decent man asks for help carrying a package, showing the way, or finding a kitten, then this is one hundred percent manipulation and a trap.
The expert suggests an algorithm of actions in this case — the child should be taught the so-called "air bubble rule". This means that you should keep at least two steps away from your interlocutor, and if a stranger violates the border, then bounce off him. If the aggressor attacks the minor and grabs him, then you should fall to the ground, pushing and screaming — it is inconvenient to carry such a "bag".
— The iron rule that a child should know is that other people's adults should not ask children to keep secrets from their parents. The phrase "this is our little secret" is a stop signal, an excuse to immediately tell your parents about a strange person," Olga Umanova comments.
The age of independence
One of the most popular questions for child psychologists is when can a child be allowed to go outside alone? There is no single age limit for independent walking in Russian legislation — this issue is attributed to the responsibility of adults and the attitudes adopted in the family. For example, starting from the age of seven, a child can ride alone on commuter trains. But most modern moms and dads at this age will not let their children go alone, even into the yard, and special paperwork is required for primary school students to leave school on their own.
"There are no clear numbers in the laws, but psychology provides certain criteria for maturity," says Umanova. — Staying alone at home is optimal from the age of 10-11. But only if the child does not panic at the sound of footsteps on the stairs and knows the necessary safety algorithms — do not open the door to anyone, periodically call parents, how to act in case of fire.
The psychologist believes that you can walk independently from the age of 8-9, but only in a familiar courtyard, gradually expanding the radius.
— Readiness test: Try to simulate a situation related to a potential danger. Will a child be able to firmly say "no" to a stranger? Will she be able to get away from an annoying peer? If there are prerequisites that a student will fall into a stupor or he is used to blindly obeying authorities, then it's too early to let him go alone," Umanova believes.
Sometimes it's not adults who pose a threat, but peers or "seniors" who bully a minor. But the clinical psychologist emphasizes that aggressors are not looking for the weakest, but for someone who will give an emotional return: they get scared or start being rude in response. And here the task is not to give an emotional response, but to become a "boring target."
— We respond to a provocation unexpectedly calmly, with a slight irony or paradoxically — for example, we make a compliment, — the editorial interlocutor continues. — It breaks the bully's script because he doesn't get the expected response. The aggressor expects two reactions: either fright (which means a victim), or rudeness in response (a reason for a fight). When it doesn't, it "freezes" because it doesn't know how to react.
The expert calls another method of protection the "gray stone" method. It is necessary to respond to the aggressor in monosyllables, monotonously, without eye contact — to look at the bridge of the nose or on the forehead. Phrases should be of the same type — "I don't know", "Maybe", "I'm in a hurry".
— From childhood, instill in the child's head that it's not a shame to run away from the crowd, but it's smart, — advises Umanova. "It's a tactical retreat and an instinct for self—preservation. If you feel that the situation is escalating, run to a place where there are a lot of people and light. The right choice is to return home safe and sound, and not with a broken psyche or physical injuries.
Why do teenagers risk their lives
Leto counts its victims as risk takers — hoopers who want to ride scooters and bicycles along the roadway or hoofers who want to take selfies at dizzying heights. Why do teenagers take risks? According to Olga Umanova, the biochemistry of growing up plays a role in this case.
"A teenager's brain works like a super—powerful sports car: the accelerator pedal (the limbic system responsible for emotions and thirst for new things) is already "on the floor", and the brakes (the prefrontal cortex responsible for risk assessment) have not yet been assembled — they will mature only by the age of 25," explains the clinical psychologist.
That's why a teenager is physically unable to calculate the consequences one step ahead. Do not forget about adolescent egocentrism — a deep belief in one's own invulnerability plays against sanity. Dangerous tricks are not at all a desire to die, but a desperate attempt to feel alive, get a powerful dopamine release and earn credibility in their community, the expert notes, adding that future men most often test themselves.
— Boys get into the risk zone because of the "test drive syndrome," explains the interlocutor of Izvestia. — They also need to prove their worth, so they test their own body and capabilities (extreme sports, fights, dangerous tricks). The main enemies of boys are physical injury and criminalization.
And here the specialist returns to the important topic of trusting relationships with parents. The house should be a refuge for a teenager, where he will feel safe from a psychological point of view. An emotional vacuum or total hypercontrol are equally scary.
"If a child feels either invisible or imprisoned at home, then he will seek freedom and adrenaline where it is deadly dangerous — on the street or on the darknet," warns Umanova. — A bored teenager is an easy target for destructive influences.
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