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- A house without an exit: Russians postpone independent life because of expensive housing
A house without an exit: Russians postpone independent life because of expensive housing
In Russia, the average age for starting an independent life remains at 21, but in practice it is becoming more difficult: a significant proportion of young people continue to live with their parents at a more mature age. At the same time, public expectations are getting tougher — living together after the age of 30 is increasingly perceived as a sign of lack of independence and is becoming a factor affecting personal life. Izvestia investigated why this gap between the norm and reality persists and what are the reasons behind this phenomenon.
Why are Russians in no hurry to move out
According to VTSIOM, about 40% of Generation Z representatives continue to live with their parents, despite the declared norm of early independence. At the same time, in the long-term dynamics, Russia is moving towards an increase in the number of people living separately.
According to Valeria Kasamara, director of the Association of Organizers of Student Olympiads "I am a Professional", the key indicator here is the change in household structure.
— The All-Union population census of 1989 fixed the average family size at 3.5 people in the USSR and 3.2 in the RSFSR. According to the results of the All–Russian census of 2021, the average size of a private household is already 2.2-2.46 people. The growth in the share of single-person households is even more significant: from 22.3% in 2002 to 41.8% in 2021. In Moscow, this figure reaches 52%, in St. Petersburg - 49%," she explained.
According to her, if in Soviet times living together for several generations was a forced norm due to housing shortages, lack of a rental market and a registration system, today the dominant model is becoming a nuclear family or living alone.
City versus village: where people live separately more often
The situation with independent living varies significantly depending on the region and type of settlement.
— In Moscow and St. Petersburg, the maximum rates of separate residence were recorded. This is due to the developed rental market, greater mobility of the population and infrastructure for single people. In small towns and rural areas, the average household size is higher, and cohabitation is more often associated with household management, care for the elderly, and lack of infrastructure," Casamara said.
Therefore, differences in the perception of the "norm" are largely due not to culture, but to lifestyle.
The economy won't let go: how much does independence cost
According to experts, financial constraints remain a key factor. Galina Sorokina, Director of the Institute of Economics and Finance at the State University of Management, emphasizes that independent living requires significant resources.
— According to Rosstat data, renting a studio apartment relative to the average salary is about 21%. However, if we take into account the median salary, which is about 25% lower than the average, then the share of rental costs reaches 30%. In some regions, such as Altai, Chechnya and Dagestan, this figure reaches 40%," she explained.
The situation with buying a home is even more complicated.
— The average cost per square meter in a new building at the end of last year was 215,282 rubles. To purchase an apartment of 40 sq. m. with a mortgage rate of more than 21% for 30 years and a down payment of 20%, it is necessary to have an income of more than 158 thousand rubles per month, which exceeds the national average by 13%. This means that without the help of a family, young people are extremely unlikely to be able to buy a home," Sorokina said.
According to her, even if young people choose to rent, a significant part of their income goes to pay for housing, which does not allow them to save up for their own apartment.
— From an economic point of view, separation is possible, but it reduces financial stability and limits savings. In addition, values are also changing: Generation Z is more likely to choose self—development and balance, rather than maximizing income at any cost," she added.
Why cohabitation becomes a problem for relationships
Despite objective reasons, public expectations remain high, especially for men. Clinical psychologist Ksenia Savelyeva notes that VTSIOM's data reflect not only a social norm, but also deep psychological attitudes.
— Growing up is not just about moving, but the ability to make decisions and take responsibility for them. If a person lives with his parents for a long time, he often remains in the position of a child. Even if parents behave correctly, the very structure of everyday life returns him to this role: who makes decisions, who controls resources," she explained.
According to her, this directly affects the ability to build relationships.
— When a man lives with his parents, a third person is inevitably built into his mate — the mother. He cannot fully switch to a new family, and the woman feels not like a hostess, but a guest. She is afraid of competition and is not sure that her partner will be able to take responsibility for the family," the expert noted.
At the same time, men treat the same situation with women much more mildly, which creates a gender bias in expectations.
Hidden reasons: not just money
Ksenia Savelieva emphasizes that psychological mechanisms are often hidden behind economic arguments.
— The phrase "saving up for an apartment" often becomes a convenient screen. In fact, a person may not be ready for the financial burden and responsibility. Parents become a kind of insurance," she said.
In addition, family scenarios play an important role.
— Parents may unconsciously keep an adult child close because of the fear of loneliness. There is a hidden contract — "you provide me with emotional support, and I provide you with security." In more complex cases, a substitute partnership is formed when the mother perceives the son as a substitute partner," the expert explained.
Such scenarios lead to the fact that a person is not ready for full-fledged separation, even if there are external possibilities.
Why estimates and reality don't match
Despite rigid attitudes, people's actual behavior does not always correspond to them. As Valeria Casamara notes, the marriage market lives by its own laws.
— The average age of marriage is steadily increasing: in 2025 it was 33.1 years for women and 35.2 years for men. At the same time, the share of single households reaches 42%. This means that marriage is no longer a mandatory and early norm, and the forms of cohabitation are becoming more diverse," she stressed.
According to her, the declared negative attitude towards living together with parents does not always translate into real decisions, since the choice of a partner is influenced by a combination of factors.
"The question of whether a person lives with their parents becomes just one of many parameters, and not the only criterion," the expert added.
Personal experience as the main filter
The attitude towards cohabitation is largely determined by a person's personal history.
— Research shows that a single scenario is being formed within the family: when and how it is customary to separate. Those who left early tend to perceive those who stayed with their parents as infantile. But at the same time, everyone's aspirations for independence are the same — only the conditions and experience differ," Kasamara explained.
Accordingly, the perception of the "norm" turns out to be subjective and depends on the individual's life path. Experts agree that the issue of independence cannot be reduced solely to the fact of living separately.
— You can live separately and remain psychologically dependent, or you can live with your parents and be independent. Growing up does not begin with moving, but with the ability to make decisions and take responsibility for your life," concluded Ksenia Savelieva.
As a result, cohabitation with parents in adulthood turns out to be not so much a deviation from the norm as a reflection of a complex interweaving of economic conditions, social expectations and personal scenarios.
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