The psychologist explained the reasons for the fear of the newlyweds before the wedding

A wedding is an important step in a couple's life, which is accompanied not only by joy, but also by anxiety. Ekaterina Artemenko, a practicing psychologist and gestalt therapist, told Izvestia on March 14 how to cope with the complex of emotions and stress that arise on the eve of a wedding.

"Marriage registration is a milestone beyond which a new life begins. And no matter what formally changes in the relationship, on a symbolic level, the changes in any case turn out to be big. And all the big changes cause us difficult feelings," said the psychologist.

According to the expert, this anxiety can be caused by several contradictory feelings at once, such as joy and fear, hope and sadness, pride and shame. Even positive events in life create stress, and the psyche needs resources to survive it. Novelty, as a rule, is always perceived as a challenge, which is a kind of crisis. The more a person is aware of their feelings, the easier it is to experience this moment without emotional exhaustion.

When it comes to dealing with this stress, an important step is to allow yourself to feel anxious and not judge yourself for it. It is necessary to understand that experiencing mixed emotions is natural.

"It is important that we have someone other than our chosen one with whom we can discuss our feelings and conditions: grandmother, mother, father, friend, psychologist. It's good if this person is already "on the other side" of this rubicon — who has already gone through such an experience and coped," the psychologist noted.

In her opinion, preparing for a wedding often becomes the first big joint project for a couple. In this process, it is important to take into account not only each other's desires and expectations, but also how these plans will be implemented in reality. Excitement, shame, anger and fatigue — all these feelings can arise during the preparation process, and it is important to be able to experience them correctly. The ability to deal with such emotions without destroying the relationship indicates the couple's maturity and willingness to work on a future together.

Expectations from a wedding are often overstated, as many of us perceive this day through idealized images accumulated over the years. This can lead to disappointment if reality does not match dreams, Artemenko added.

"It is also important to note that often by the time of the wedding, people are so exhausted from the preparation that they simply do not have the strength to live through all the emotions of the holiday. These feelings don't seem to fit. Therefore, people who have gone through similar experiences often describe their condition as participation in a play or as a dream — without fully immersing themselves in all the diversity of what is happening," Artemenko said.

But it is important to remember that this day is not just an event for others, but primarily for the couple, and it is important to experience it in such a way that it is meaningful and joyful for them, the specialist concluded.

According to a study by the online psychotherapy service Yasno, more than 60% of Russians consider holding a wedding to be an overrated event, and almost half fear that preparations for the celebration may lead to a breakup. It was noted that 2,000 Russians aged 18 to 55 from different regions of the country took part in the survey.

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