This is for the new year: is it necessary to postpone things for significant dates
Russians have high hopes for the new year and are making plans based on its beginning. The most common motivation for action is to start a new business on January 1st. Such a link to a landmark date may not work if a person does not have serious motivation, and leads to self-disappointment. Why a starting point is important to people, what to do if this technique doesn't work, and how to start an important business here and now — in the Izvestia article.
Magical thinking and laziness
Starting a meaningful business on New Year's Eve (Monday, after a birthday, etc.) is a fairly common motivation, says psychiatrist and psychotherapist Alexei Vilkov. It's no coincidence that people look for certain signs, tying the beginning of important things to dates. According to the expert, this is a consequence of "magical thinking." It originated in ancient times, when a person, being unable to explain certain phenomena, saw hidden meanings and certain symbols in everything.
"The rudiments of "magical thinking" are normal for many people, forcing them to associate the beginning of changes with certain dates and numbers, with the influence of stars, with anniversaries, with certain numbers, the position of the Moon, planets, and so on, but this should not be given special importance," explains Alexey Vilkov.
Candidate of Psychological Sciences Alina Koroleva explains that sometimes a person really needs to "cling on" to something, to find a foothold.
— And such a point may well be a specific date. But if the date binding didn't work once, then you should still abandon this idea. It is better to work according to a specific plan, but in such a way that you want to implement it: gradually take small steps towards the intended goal, while analyzing the meaning of what you have in mind, reflecting and realizing exactly why you are doing it, the expert suggests.
However, according to the psychologist, very often even the optimal plan of action becomes demotivating, it feels like heavy, unbearable.
— Therefore, for a quick start, you need to choose one or more points of the plan that are easy to start with, — suggests Alina Koroleva. — It's difficult to run a 10 km distance right away, but it's much easier to start with a five-minute warm-up and a light jog. And only then systematically increase the load. It is difficult to immediately introduce all the points of proper nutrition and stick to them, but you can start with a break between meals of 3-4 hours or gradually reduce portions.
What is positive motivation?
Linking to dates has a symbolic meaning — there is no sacred meaning in such an algorithm. According to Alexey Vilkov, if a person does not have enough motivation or willpower to start something on a specific date, then procrastination most often affects. This term refers to the habit of postponing important things for later. A person feels guilty for not being able to pull himself together, and is justified by the lack of a suitable moment to begin the necessary transformations.
"But in the end, people endlessly postpone important things, shifting their activity to less significant ones,— warns Alexey Vilkov. — Gradually, one date is replaced by another, and the person eventually remains without results.
The expert advises taking care of yourself on the principle of "here and now", without waiting for any special moments. Although, of course, waiting for a round date still has a certain significance in terms of accumulating motivation, a "magic kick" to start active actions.
— When this landmark day arrives and there is nowhere else to go, try not to postpone anything. We need to take the bull by the horns and work on ourselves," Alexey Vilkov continues.
If it was not possible to start the transformation, even focusing on a specific day, it means that the person did not have enough positive motivation, the psychiatrist emphasizes. Alexey Vilkov advises creating such motivation by answering the question: why will I achieve this goal and what will I get in the end? At the same time, a person determines his own individual meaningful meaning for himself. In particular, to improve your appearance through grooming and gymnastics, to become smarter and more successful by enrolling in courses. Positive motivation is a powerful impetus, fueled by a dream of good things, a desire for a better life.
— But sometimes it happens that motivation manifests itself as a result of some negative events and changes, for example, in terms of health. Let's say a person has suffered a heart attack or stroke, and miraculously remains alive. And then, simply because of the fear of death and illness, he begins to work on himself in the right direction," the expert comments.
Thus, a certain catastrophe can also become the most important trigger for the beginning of positive changes, Vilkov emphasizes.
How to find the meaning of life
Psychologist Koroleva warns that a huge demotivation to any actions, especially new ones, is formed if a person is accustomed to devalue himself and his actions.
— The golden rule that helps to get out of depreciation is to focus on high goals (like a horizon line) and appreciate every step, even a minor achievement, — continues Alina Koroleva. — And mistakes should also be appreciated. Thanks to mistakes, a person learns how not to do it, and this is very valuable knowledge.
The psychologist emphasizes that it is often due to mistakes that non-standard solutions are born. From an expert's point of view, a good habit that helps on the way to achieving a goal is to praise yourself even for small steps and stop criticizing yourself for not achieving maximum results. Alina Koroleva considers the second motivator to be the search for the meaning of her actions. At the same time, we do not need a standard meaning, not those common truths that sound from all sides, but our own personal, literally felt by the body and soul.
To start working on yourself without waiting for a specific date, but only because it is necessary, people are prevented not only by procrastination, elementary laziness and lack of self-confidence. According to the psychiatrist, postponing the solution of the problem, many receive so-called secondary benefits. For example, someone gets more attention, pity and help from relatives. Against this background, the main problem recedes into the background, since this attitude fuels passivity and makes it impossible to put effort into self-improvement. A person gradually stops making efforts, besides, he lacks willpower and motivation. But everything can be fixed.
— There is no need to beat yourself up, scold and criticize if your plan failed to start on the scheduled day, — says Alexey Vilkov. — Shift the focus from a specific date to the current moment, think about what you will get when you achieve specific goals, and act.
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