Spicy from Grenada: how many goals will Dzyuba score in the match against the "pirate" team

A match that many did not expect could go down in history: Russia meets Grenada. Yes, the fact itself sounds like a joke: the 174th world team from the Caribbean Islands, the "pirate" entourage and zero recognition. But this story has some exciting twists. The most important thing is Artyom Dzyuba's possible record. Let's look at what awaits us at VTB Arena on March 19 and why this match is not at all a passing friendly meeting.

The return of the striker

It's no secret that the main news is Artyom Dzyuba's call—up to the national team. A man who has not been invited there since 2021. There seemed to be no turning back: the conflict with Valery Karpin had been dragging on for a long time. But then an unexpected "Hello, are you ready?" from the head coach — and Dzyuba is back in the cage.

Why this challenge, if Karpin had previously refused to take players "over 30"? The answer is simple: a few weeks earlier, Dzyuba had set a record, surpassing Alexander Kerzhakov in the number of goals among Russian football players (234). Plus, he lacks one goal before the historic championship in the national team — he and Kerzhakov now have 30 each. So the upcoming match could be the very last dance, where Artyom, as he himself put it, plans to score and officially become the top scorer of the national team.

"I am very glad that Artyom has been called up to the national team again," said Miguel Danny, three—time RPL champion with Zenit and UEFA Super Cup winner, in a conversation with Izvestia. — I believe that he will set a new goalscoring record. I'm sure he can do it. I wish him a good match. I'm proud to have played with him at Zenit. I've always liked him as a player and a person.

But a number of football players playing abroad are missing. The coaching staff of the Russian national team gave Alexander Golovin (Monaco), Alexey Miranchuk (Atlanta United), Daler Kuzyaev (Le Havre), Matvey Safonov (PSG) and Fedor Chalov (PAOK) the opportunity to rest. However, even without them, the national team is capable of creating enormous problems for an exotic opponent.

Spice Island

And now about the opponent. Grenada is a former British colony with a population of just over 100,000 people, formally free, but still under the supervision of King Charles III. Her national football team is in 174th place in the FIFA ranking (Russia, let's remind, has the 34th line, despite all the suspensions).

The intrigue is that the British past (and the Caribbean flavor) gave Grenada the nickname Spice Boys — "spicy guys". In honor of the abundance of nutmeg, cinnamon and other spices growing on their islands. It sounds great, but there is still little "spice" in their football: there are only two stadiums in the whole country. Not a single appearance at the World Cup, and Grenada consistently finished the CONCACAF Gold Cup without scoring goals.

At the same time, the Grenadians do not give up hope of breaking through to the 2026 World Cup, but their start is not so good: a 2-2 draw with Trinidad and a painful 0-3 from Costa Rica.

The financial issue only highlights the gap: the entire Grenada national team, according to Transfermarkt, is estimated at €1.73 million, while, for example, Ruslan Litvinov alone is worth about €5 million.

On the other hand, you should not completely devalue the guest team. First of all, they will arrive at the match with burning eyes: for them, the chance to play with Russia is like a mini-World Cup. Secondly, some Grenadian footballers have experience playing in England, the USA and Belgium. Yes, these are mostly lower-league or reserve squads, but no one is immune from one unpredictable counterattack.

So far, the most legendary episode for Grenada remains the "furious match" at the 1994 Caribbean Cup against Barbados. Back then, the strange "golden goal in two" rule was in effect — and the Barbadians, who needed a two-goal victory, having failed to get this result in regular time, deliberately scored their own goal with the score 2-1 in order to put the game into overtime, and then beat Grenada with a "double" goal. And so it turned out. But the absurdity of the situation was off the scale, and the coach of Grenada stated: "They didn't know which gate to run through, and the author of such rules was sent to a mental hospital!" Since then, conclusions have been drawn in the CONCACAF zone, and this is no longer practiced. But the fact remains that Grenada knows how to fit into history. Although in such a specific way.

Why is Russia interested in this

It turned out to be difficult to persuade more serious opponents for the March matches: the "top" national teams seem to be keeping a respectful distance from Russian football right now.

Qualifying rounds and major tournaments for the national team are still in doubt, any international meetings are worth their weight in gold. We need game practice, beginner training, and, yes, provocation of audience interest. After all, you must agree: a rare match with the pirates and the return of Dzyuba is a kind of media mix that I want to discuss.

Another positive option: the friendly match between Russia and Grenada will be taken into account when calculating points in the FIFA ranking. This is also a test for Karpin himself. He will be forced to "reveal his cards" and experiment, because then there is the game with Zambia.

"Any national team training camp is good," Vladimir Bystrov, a former Russian national team midfielder and two—time RPL champion, emphasized in a conversation with Izvestia. — We can not fall in the ranking. We are looking for those who agree to play. There's no point in showing off here. We have to play and win 20:0 or 30:0 — as much as we can. I watch all the matches of the national team. The question is whether it's interesting or not. It's interesting to see who gets called. That's why I'll be watching.

The most intense expectation is whether Dzyuba will score his 31st goal in the national team. The fans are ready to give a standing ovation, and the striker himself has already stated that he is so overwhelmed with emotions that he "may cry during the anthem." And evil tongues whisper: "If Grenada doesn't score, then who will score?" But imagine how this will motivate the defenders from the Caribbean coast to fight back with at least ten of them.

It is possible that Russia, which is stronger in class, will unleash an avalanche of attacks on the "spicy guys". However, we have already seen that in such games sometimes there are a couple of joyful surprises for the guests. If, in the end, the scoreboard shows, for example, only 2:0, then many people can be sarcastic and talk about the "inconclusiveness" of the national team. So the Russian team automatically gets additional pressure, because it needs not only to win, but also to roll out the opponent solidly.

This may not be a battle with Brazil, but experience shows that the biggest sensation usually comes when you least expect it. Suddenly, the pirate Grenada will turn on its Caribbean enthusiasm to the maximum, and the Russians will demonstrate a beautiful extravaganza in response? So we prepare scarves, be patient, and look forward to the whistle of Judge Ilgiz Tantashev from Uzbekistan, because the show is about to begin!