Experts explained the influence of the parent's phone on the child's psyche
The phone has become a part of parents' daily lives: adults use it to solve work issues, communicate, and receive information. However, the constant digital employment of mom or dad can affect the relationship with the child if the screen begins to displace live communication and emotional contact. ""Psychologist, neuropsychologist, educational psychologist Anna Kiryushina and pediatric neurologist of the medical center "Medin" Olga Butenko told Izvestia on September 16 about how the habit of constantly being on the phone affects the psyche of children and what helps to keep in touch in the family."September 16, Izvestia was told by psychologist, neuropsychologist, educational psychologist Anna Kiryushina and pediatric neurologist of the medical center "Medin" Olga Butenko.
The parent is "on the phone" next to the child
The problem is not with the phone itself, but with the fact that the device can regularly interrupt contact between parent and child. According to Kiryushina, an adult can be physically nearby, but remain emotionally inaccessible to a child.
"Such presence and absence are simultaneous. And at the same time, it is important to understand that it is the physical presence that is very important to the child. It's not just physical, it's the emotional closeness that will accompany this physical presence that is important to him," the psychologist explained.
According to the expert, the child evaluates the adult's attitude through his reaction. If a parent looks at the screen and does not respond to the child's words, he may perceive this as a lack of interest in his feelings.
Butenko noted that the phone itself does not pose a threat to the child's development. According to the doctor, problems arise when digital devices regularly replace live communication and interaction between a child and adults.
The influence of gadgets on the child's psyche
A regular lack of emotional response from parents can affect a child's self-esteem and trust in adults. According to Kiryushina, a child may decide that his feelings don't matter.
"The child understands that he is not important in principle. He understands that everything he says does not evoke an emotional response," the psychologist noted.
According to the expert, if the child's usual attempts to get attention do not work, he may change his behavior: more often to act up, shout or provoke parents to an emotional reaction. For the child at this moment, it is not important whether the emotion is positive or negative, but the very fact of contact.
At the same time, we are not talking about individual situations when an adult needs to respond to a work message, but about the constant repetition of such a model. According to Kiryushina, the child does not take into account the reasons for the parent's employment and may perceive the lack of reaction as a feeling that he is not being heard or noticed.
Parents become an example for children
Children form attitudes towards gadgets not only through the rules that adults set, but also through observing their behavior. If parents are constantly on the phone, the child may perceive this as normal.
According to Kiryushina, this is why children themselves begin to ask for gadgets more often: they copy the behavior of adults and may try to get attention in this way.
"If the phone is constantly in the hands of mom and dad, then it's also normal for the child, respectively," the psychologist explained.
Butenko noted that it is important to avoid double standards in the family: it is difficult for a child to explain the restrictions on using a phone if adults themselves are constantly distracted by gadgets during joint activities.
According to the expert, children learn not only the rules that their parents explain to them, but also the behavior that they observe on a daily basis. Therefore, family rules on the use of devices should apply to all family members, including adults.
When the screen replaces live communication and affects development
The emotional involvement of adults in the first years of a child's life is especially important. According to Butenko, it is during this period that speech, attachment, attention, and the ability to regulate emotions are actively formed. For the development of speech, a child needs not just a flow of information, but two-way interaction: an adult must respond to the child's questions, gestures and emotions, maintain a dialogue and respond to his requests.
According to Butenko, the screen cannot replace an adult who helps a child connect words with objects, actions and emotions. This is especially important for children under three years of age, when basic communication skills are being formed.
"The screen should not constantly perform the function of an adult. He should not constantly entertain the child while eating, calm him down when crying, occupy him in the car or before going to bed," the specialist noted.
How to keep in touch with your child in the age of gadgets
It is impossible to completely abandon the phone in modern life, especially if you need it for work. However, parents can make using the device more understandable for the child and reduce the amount of digital distractions.
Kiryushina recommends explaining your actions to your child: for example, to say that you need to answer a call or message, and then return to communication. It is also important not to pick up the phone automatically while talking to the child.
According to Butenko, it is useful to create periods when gadgets are not in use: during family meals, games, reading and preparing for bed.
"We need to create gadget-free zones. Again, rituals, family dinners, bedtime conversations, tea, drinking. We do family rituals. We explain our actions to the child, we don't scroll through the tape during communication," the doctor said.
The expert added that a few minutes of full attention can be very important for a child. At the same time, it is worth contacting a specialist if the child has persistent sleep disorders, severe anxiety, speech problems, loss of previously acquired skills or serious behavioral changes.
According to experts, the phone is not the enemy of the child. The risk arises when digital life begins to regularly replace live communication, which is necessary for emotional and cognitive development.
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