Experts named the main signs of a man's unwillingness to start a family

Men's fear of official marriage may be associated not only with an unwillingness to take responsibility, but also with psychological attitudes formed in childhood, as well as with the experience of previous relationships. All the details are in the Izvestia article.

Marriage Avoidance Scenarios

Natalia Birina, a doctor of the highest qualification category, a psychiatrist, and a psychotherapist, identified four basic scenarios that form a persistent fear of an official union. The first is related to the "devaluing father", whose behavior makes the boy believe that intimacy means the loss of manhood. The second scenario is the "octopus mother", where overprotection causes an adult man to have a panic fear of being absorbed by his partner.

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The third option is based on parental marriage as a model of suffering that a man is afraid to repeat. The fourth reason is to escape from adulthood, when cohabitation is chosen as a reversible position of the "boy", allowing you to leave without legal formalities.

How to detect panic

True fear can be distinguished from an attempt to "bargain" by vegetative reactions. Birina indicates respiratory disorganization: during panic, the stomach freezes, and breathing becomes shallow and rapid. Micro-movements of the face may also appear, such as an asymmetrical pursing of the lips or licking of the mouth, which is an attempt at self-complacency.

Birina noted that real fear narrows peripheral vision, making the gaze "glassy." Due to the release of adrenaline, the face may turn pale or turn red, and eye contact with the partner is lost.

Household depreciation

Sokolova describes the "automatic maintenance syndrome," when an ideally caring woman turns into an "infrastructure" for a man. The process goes through several stages: from getting used to comfort to reifying a partner whose needs disappear from the man's worldview. Subconsciously, he may devalue caring in order to relieve himself of guilt for not wanting to invest in a response.

Psychologist, EMDR therapist, RSUH teacher Daria Sokolova added that in such couples the role of a "convenient guest" is often consolidated. A man uses a service — food, laundry, organization of life — without assuming obligations and without participating in planning a common future.

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The critical period of a relationship

Daria Sokolova clarified that the lack of common finances or savings in two or three years is a signal of the irrelevance of the family for the partner. If a man has not made a decision during this period, he begins to perceive his partner as a permanent, but not an obligatory element, and cohabitation turns into inertia of resource exploitation.