Experts named the main mistake in friendly relations

Treating friendship as a mutually beneficial deal can destroy trust and lead to emotional burnout. All the details are in the Izvestia article.

Capitalization of relationships

The chief expert of the Benedict Clinic, psychiatrist, narcologist, and psychotherapist Marat Aginyan believes that one of the main problems is the attitude to friendship as capital. When a person invests time, money and emotions with the expectation of a return, friendship turns into a kind of business agreement, which destroys its true essence — sincerity and spontaneity.

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According to the expert, this consumer attitude penetrates into all spheres of life, including love and the meaning of existence. Aginyan stressed that true friendship is built on the co-creation of two people, and not on the accounting of mutual services.

The role of attachment theory

Problematic friendships often have their roots in attachment patterns formed at an early age. Yulia Tereshina, an expert psychologist at the Benedict Clinic, emphasizes that behind unequal relationships there may be a hidden need to be accepted or a fear of offending another with rejection.

At the same time, Aginyan added that with dysfunctional attachment, a person may enter into a relationship with excessive anxiety or avoidance. In such a situation, the participant in the process is not fully friendly, but is trying to serve his old psychological vulnerability.

The importance of dialogue

To improve the situation, Tereshina recommends using assertiveness — the ability to communicate respectfully in form, but firmly in meaning. In addition, the expert advises listening to body signals: if communication causes tension or insomnia, this is a reason to reconsider values and have an honest conversation.

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Protecting personal boundaries

Tereshina explained that people are often afraid to defend their borders, associating delicacy with weakness. However, it is an open dialogue about their feelings and needs that helps to understand whether the values of the partners coincide.

The expert also pointed out that for healthy communication it is important not only to talk about your feelings, but also to maintain a respectful tone. This avoids the transition of the conflict into a destructive phase and helps to maintain intimacy.