Psychologists talked about the adaptation of children to life in a dysfunctional family

Gleb Slobin and Natalia Shchankina, specialists of the Direct Dialogue Center for Psychological Support for men, told on Thursday, June 4, why the consequences of living in a dysfunctional family — in an atmosphere of violence, alcoholism, hypercontrol, emotional rejection or constant instability — can persist for decades.

In an interview with Radio 1, psychologists compare this situation to a fish that lives in muddy water all its life and does not know that water can be transparent. According to them, a child from a dysfunctional family also perceives the familiar environment as the norm and does not think that relationships can be built differently.

Experts noted that in childhood, a person does not analyze what is happening, but simply adapts to the conditions in which he grows up. However, in adulthood, the protective mechanisms that helped to survive earlier often begin to interfere and create new problems.

In addition, psychologists said that the term AA ("adult children of alcoholics") is needed not for labels, but for a better understanding of their own experiences. According to them, when a person names a problem, it becomes easier for him to understand his feelings and the reasons for certain reactions. Experts emphasized that a dysfunctional family does not always look dysfunctional, but at the same time it contains coldness, hypercontrol, and rejection.

Experts also urged not to devalue their own experience by comparing it with other people's stories.

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In May, Yulia Medvedeva, a psychologist and lecturer at the N. A. Borodin Institute of Medical Education at NAMO, called adolescent aggression towards a younger child a common phenomenon. According to her, the appearance of a younger child can cause an older child to feel resentment and injustice, especially in adolescence, when he still needs attention and confirmation of parental love. Conflicts between children often hide precisely these experiences, and punishments only aggravate the situation, reports 360.ru .

Also in May, family psychologist Natalia Panfilova, in a conversation with NSN, stated that at some stages of a relationship, partners may hide expenses or income, but as they develop, these issues need to be clarified. Panfilova stressed that the issue of personal finances and expenses must be carefully discussed so that there are no mutual resentments and misunderstandings.

At the same time, family psychologist and psychotherapist Olga Kushnareva told Izvestia that the "empty nest" syndrome is becoming a common problem among parents — many adults feel emotional emptiness after their children leave home. It is not equal to depression, but it can become a trigger for anxiety or depressive states, especially with internal vulnerability.

Earlier, psychologist Sergey Lunyushin spoke about the signs of emotional immaturity and how it manifests itself in human behavior. According to him, it is often the result of upbringing in dysfunctional families that hinder the development of self-regulation mechanisms. Among the main signs, the expert named self-doubt, lack of self-criticism and planning, a tendency to avoid problems and shift responsibility to others, as well as obsessive fears and excessive fantasy, RT reports.