A family psychologist talked about the "empty nest" syndrome of parents

The "empty nest" syndrome is becoming a common problem among parents — many adults feel emotional emptiness after their children leave home. Olga Kushnareva, a family psychologist and psychotherapist, told Izvestia on May 29 about how to survive the period of adaptation and maintain emotional health.

"For many years, life was arranged around the child: school, clubs, everyday life, control, care, anxiety, conversations, plans. And suddenly the child leaves, enrolls, creates his own family, or just starts living separately. The house is getting quieter, and the parents may have a strange feeling inside.: "And who am I now if I'm not called, asked, or expected to have dinner every day?" explained Kushnareva.

According to the expert, women are more likely to openly express emotions — sadness, anxiety, a sense of uselessness, especially if the maternal role has long been a central part of identity. Men often go to work, become irritable, withdrawn, or abruptly seek new goals. At the same time, those parents who have lived solely in the interests of the child for many years and had practically no life of their own outside the family are more at risk.

As Kushnareva noted, the "empty nest" syndrome is not equal to depression, but it can become a trigger for anxiety or depressive states, especially with internal vulnerability. So, it is important for parents to gradually regain their lives: to look for interests, meet friends, strengthen relationships with a partner and engage in health, work, creativity, Kushnareva explained.

Parental opposition: why you shouldn't put your child on antidepressants

Adults are advised to learn to understand children, not stuff them with pills.

"It is very useful to change the format of communication with the child: not to control every step, but to negotiate warm and adult communication. For example, to call at a convenient time, to be interested without questioning, to support without intrusion," the psychologist noted.

Social connections, hobbies and professional activity help to alleviate feelings, returning the parent to a sense of fullness of life. If anxiety persists, Kushnareva recommends psychotherapy and support groups, where you can calmly sort out emotional difficulties and learn how to stay close to the child without merging with his life.

Timur Mutaliev, a psychiatrist and psychotherapist at Atlas Clinics, said on April 13 that prescribing antidepressants to children is possible if the symptoms of the disorder are expressed in such a way that psychotherapy does not work independently. Mutaliev also added that drugs are not prescribed at the first opportunity. If the problem is not critical, the first and main method of treatment should be to work with a psychologist or psychotherapist.