Psychologist named bad gifts for February 23rd

The same gift on February 23rd turns out to be touching and meaningful for one person, and offensive or even humiliating for another. The reason is not in the object itself, but in the meaning that is put into it, and in the quality of the relationship between the giver and the recipient. Psychologist Rodion Chepalov told about this on February 16.

"One of the most common mistakes is a gift "according to a template", without taking into account a specific person. These can be both cheap and expensive items. For example, a conditional "men's set" or an item labeled "for a real man" may be perceived as depersonalization, especially if the man does not associate himself with this role or is generally critical of the holiday itself. Psychologically, such a gift reads like "I don't really know who you are, but there is a suitable box." Even an expensive item, chosen without interest in personality, can leave a feeling of emptiness," he stressed in an interview withГазета.Ru ".

The second painful category is gifts with appreciation or a hidden message. According to the expert, these may be things that seem to hint that something is wrong with the person. "A gym membership, if it wasn't requested, a book about "success" or "manhood," items for grooming, if the topic is sensitive. In such cases, the gift can be read as criticism disguised as caring.

Separately, the expert spoke about "gifts-responsibilities" that require additional efforts or involvement from the recipient, but were not discussed in advance. It can be about complex technology without interest in it, extreme entertainment, trips or activities for which a person is not ready.

"In a relationship, such gifts may not cause joy, but tension and a sense of duty — 'now I have to be happy and conform,'" the psychologist warned.

According to the psychologist, too expensive gifts can hurt more than modest ones, especially if the level of intimacy in a couple does not imply such generosity. This may be perceived as an attempt to buy a relationship, compensate for emotional distance with money, or put a person in a dependent position. For some, this gesture causes awkwardness, anxiety and irritation, as it disrupts the natural balance between giving and receiving.

The expert called the most unsuccessful gifts that do not pay attention to the inner world of a person. When a choice is made not out of genuine contact, but out of anxiety, guilt, formal duty, or under pressure from social expectations. In this case, even a neutral thing can feel empty and cold.

Good gifts, on the contrary, are never universal, Chepalov noted. They show that a person is really seen and heard. It can be a simple thing related to his interests, habits, or shared memories. Sometimes the best gift is not an object, but time together, conversation, support, or a gesture that says: "I know what's important to you." In his practice, he often noticed that men react much more warmly to gifts that recognize their individuality, rather than an abstract male role.

Chepalov also stressed that gifts are a part of communication in a couple or a family. Where there is no genuine intimacy, no perfect gift will fix the situation. Conversely, with good emotional contact, even a modest gift will be appreciated. In this sense, the holiday becomes not an exam for generosity or creativity, but a litmus test of relationships. Gifts offend not because they are "not the right ones," but because they reveal distance, misunderstanding, or lack of interest.

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A survey of Tanuki Japanese home-cooked restaurants on February 12 showed that 47% of Russians will celebrate Valentine's Day at home. The results showed that February 14 is an important day for only 31% of Russians, while it was most popular with millennials (36%) and generation X (24%).

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