The therapist talked about the consequences of comparing oneself with others
Striving to compare with other people can lead to self-depreciation and inner discomfort, which eventually becomes the cause of depression. A psychotherapist, founder of the International Institute of Psychosomatic Health (IIPH), told Izvestia about this on February 12. Sergey Egorovich Martynov.
According to the expert, the desire for comparison can bring discomfort, as a person begins to devalue himself, considering himself insufficiently successful, handsome or talented.
"The most difficult thing in this process is that devaluing thoughts become automatic. They arise unconsciously, like an inner voice affirming: "You're not the right person." In psychology, this is called internal attitudes. These attitudes are formed in childhood when adults compare a child with others, believing that this will help him become a better person," he said.
According to the therapist, such treatment leaves an imprint in the mind, and in adulthood a person continues to compare himself with others. This causes anxiety, apathy, and eating disorders, which can lead to depression. First comes the motivation to become a better person, then the desire for an unattainable ideal, because there will always be more successful, richer and more beautiful people. Thus, comparing oneself with others, a person finds himself in a vicious circle, the doctor explained.
According to Martynov, the need for comparison arises when a person is unaware of their true values, strengths and weaknesses, goals and desires. He focuses on others, not on himself, and as a result, he does not live his own life. To break out of this vicious circle, it is important to start by exploring yourself.
"Gradually, you will be able to find contact with yourself and return to your true desires and needs. If you cannot analyze your reality on your own and understand your desires, it is important to contact a qualified psychologist. The specialist will help identify negative internal attitudes, help you get to know yourself and your true desires, as well as restore adequate self—esteem," the doctor noted.
On January 30, Natalia Panafidina, a systemic family psychotherapist, an EFT-psychotherapist, and a leader of therapeutic groups, gave advice on how to quickly recover from stress. So, as an emergency in times of intense tension, the specialist recommended simple bodily techniques. She suggested finding a few minutes to spend in a secluded place and consistently relaxing the body through a gentle shaking of the arms, shoulders and body, or clenching your fists as you inhale and abruptly releasing them as you exhale.
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