The therapist named ways to recognize manipulation and protect yourself.

Manipulation is a way of controlling a person's behavior, bypassing direct agreements, and forcing him to act under the influence of externally imposed feelings or false needs. The founder of the International Institute of Psychosomatic Health, psychotherapist Sergey Martynov, told Izvestia about this on December 23.

"The key tool of the manipulator is to create a so—called "quasi-need" - an artificial need that a person did not have before. For example, the belief that a certain thing is necessary for happiness is often shaped by advertising or environmental pressure and has a particularly strong effect on people with unstable self—esteem, personal immaturity and self-doubt," he explained.

According to the expert, the ground for manipulation is laid from childhood, when in a family environment a child is faced with attempts at control through guilt, shame or fear of rejection. As an adult, a person remains vulnerable to similar schemes, when the manipulator creates the feeling that without his approval or fulfillment of certain conditions, the victim does not deserve attention or love. Such an impact can be recognized by a number of signs: pressure and haste to make a decision, emphasis on feelings of guilt and fear, avoidance of responsibility, excessive flattery, understatement or promises of benefits in the future while ignoring problems in the present.

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To resist manipulation, Martynov recommends, first of all, maintaining personal boundaries and not succumbing to provocations. It is important to pause before responding to avoid an impulsive reaction, as well as openly call a spade a spade, making it clear that you are aware of the techniques used.

"An effective method is to expose manipulation through questions about the real goals of the interlocutor: why he speaks exactly like that, why he avoids discussing his mistakes and turns attention to your shortcomings. If communication is not satisfying and does not meet your goals, you should think about the need for such a relationship, and if it is important, seek help from a psychotherapist," the specialist advised.

Protection from manipulation also requires internal work: you need to learn to say "no", defend your interests, develop adequate self-esteem and manage emotions. As Martynov emphasized, only a person himself can determine what is best for him, and he should not allow himself to be manipulated. If you need support, you can contact professional psychologists who will help you build a conscious and emotionally stable life.

In March, psychologist Maya Golubeva explained the essence of "breadcrumbling," a new term in the field of online dating. According to her, this is one of the unhealthy patterns of behavior in a relationship when one person shows only minor interest in another.

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