The psychologist named the advantages and disadvantages of pre-date before dating

The pre-date format, which involves a short video call before a face-to-face meeting, is becoming the new norm for online dating in 2025. This approach helps to avoid unsuccessful dates, saves time and reduces anxiety, while acting as an element of security. Larisa Karavaytseva, the chief psychologist of the Twinby service, told Izvestia about this on December 1.

"From a psychological point of view, the popularity of pre-date reflects the modern need for security and control. We live in the age of hyper-selection, where dating begins with an endless feed of profiles. This creates a "lost profit syndrome" and anxiety. Pre-date becomes an adaptive mechanism that allows you to reduce cognitive load and conduct an initial assessment in a gentle manner, without leaving your comfort zone," the specialist explained.

According to her, the format of a short 10-15-minute video call allows you to assess basic sympathy and comfort levels without turning acquaintance into a long stressful process. It acts as a new compatibility filter that helps you understand in advance if there is a potential for a live meeting.

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The expert noted that the pre-date format cannot be considered a full-fledged date, rather it resembles a short, casual online conversation that helps to understand how comfortable the interlocutor is. Even when interacting through a screen, the brain is able to capture key elements of nonverbal behavior — the timbre of a voice, microexpressions, intonation, and the naturalness of a reaction. Karavaytseva stated that the ease of communication at this stage often becomes an indicator that contact will be successful in person. According to her, this format significantly shortens the path from acquaintance to face-to-face meeting and helps to make decisions more confidently and consciously.

However, the growing rationality of online dating also has a downside.

"Here we face the trap of hypercontrol. Pre-date can turn choosing a partner into an HR interview. We start looking for the "perfect candidate", forgetting that feelings are born out of spontaneity. It's important to remember that pre-date is just a tool, not an end goal. His task is to facilitate acquaintance, not to put on extra armor," the psychologist said.

On November 20, psychologist Yulia Vinokurova explained why conscious people can't find a mate. She noted that a paradigm shift is taking place in the modern world: the family has ceased to be an obligatory tradition and is becoming a conscious choice, which is associated with profound changes in public consciousness. The expert explained that today relationships are considered not as a social obligation to "get married", but as a union in which two people should become easier.

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