The psychologist named the rules for building a conscious family model

The first months after the birth of a child resemble a kaleidoscope of sleepless nights, new responsibilities and experiences. It takes time for a couple to adapt to unfamiliar roles, create a different routine, and, in fact, rethink their entire lifestyle. On October 19, Maria Ignatieva, a psychoanalytic psychotherapist and psychologist at the Yasno service, told Izvestia about the importance of maintaining partnerships after having children.

"In the chaos of parenting, it is critically important to maintain small islands of intimacy. We are not talking about grandiose gestures, but rather about fairly simple but regular rituals that remind us that you are not only mom and dad, you are people in love who chose each other," she said.

It can be a five-minute hug before going to bed without words, just an opportunity to feel the warmth of another. A shared shower while the child sleeps. These tiny moments work as anchors that hold the bond between partners in the difficult world of parenthood, the expert pointed out.

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In addition to the daily microritals, a couple needs full time together. You should start small, perhaps with a short walk in the park without a stroller or a jog together. Then you can go to dinner at a restaurant or to the cinema. And when the child grows up, even for a short trip together.

"The main rule of such meetings is: no talking about children, diapers and complementary foods. It's time for you as a couple, not as parents," the psychologist pointed out.

Open dialogue is the foundation on which intimacy rests. In the rush of parental worries, it's easy to slip into a discussion of purely domestic issues. But somewhere between these organizational moments, it's important to find space for real conversations.

"About feelings, fears, dreams. About how life has changed and what pleases and what worries about these changes. About gratitude to each other. About future plans — not only as a family, but also as a couple. Such conversations remind you why you chose this particular person to travel through life together. You can be vulnerable with him and feel safe at the same time," the specialist added.

Modern psychology talks a lot about the importance of healthy separation. It is useful for a child to understand that parents are separate people with their own territory and time. A shared breakfast in the kitchen can be a space for the whole family. But the parent's bedroom in the evening is the territory of adults.

"Building such boundaries requires wisdom and patience. But a family where the parents remain a loving couple creates an atmosphere of emotional stability and warmth for all its members. In the end, happy parents are the best thing we can give our children," the expert emphasized.

On October 9, a Harvard Medical School study showed that the mental health of parents forms the basis of the emotional climate in the family and directly affects the development of the child. According to the results, children whose parents suffered from anxiety or depressive disorders are more likely to face similar problems during adolescence.

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