It will live with us: why AI can destroy relationships
Artificial intelligence can destroy personal relationships in some cases, experts have warned about this. Users are increasingly using chatbots as family counselors, but blindly following their advice can lead to a serious crisis for a couple. For more information about how neural networks become a third party in a relationship, how dangerous it is, and whether it is safe to contact them for advice on behavior with a partner, see the Izvestia article
Why do people turn to neural networks when they have relationship problems?
Turning to artificial intelligence (AI) for advice in case of relationship problems is a special case of solving everyday conflicts using neural networks, says Yakov Filevsky, an expert in sociotechnical testing at Angara Security, in an interview with Izvestia. This method is becoming increasingly popular in the wake of the accessibility and ease of use of new technologies, as well as the spread of information in the media about how people use neural networks.
"This way of seeking advice is also attractive because AI looks unbiased and objective: it is not burdened with feelings and emotions, and people in a stressful situation want to see someone stable and with a clear answer to their questions," says the expert.
A psychologist may not always be such an assistant, his task is to teach the client to cope on his own and to avoid instructions and dictation as much as possible, notes Yakov Filevsky. The psychologists of the crisis lines of the support centers must first of all calm the caller down, return him to a functioning state — this is also not a direct solution to the problem. Against this background, AI looks very attractive, because it only takes a couple of seconds to answer any question.
— Neural networks are convenient and easy to communicate, they are often free, available 24/7 and promise confidentiality, — adds Tatiana Butorina, Business consultant, specialist at the Analytical Center for Cybersecurity at Gazinformservice. — To contact a live specialist, you need to make efforts and spend a lot of time, and to communicate with the neural network, you just need to type your request on your smartphone.
Because of this, AI always takes the side of one of the partners.
Neural networks can be an auxiliary tool: to suggest ways to organize a dialogue, suggest communication techniques, or provide information about how various family disputes are usually resolved, says Maria Bodryagina, a clinical psychologist and psychoanalytic therapist at Dr. Isaeva's Clinic. However, AI has neither empathy nor understanding of the mental reality of each partner.
— Unlike a psychotherapist, a neural network does not hear unconscious meanings and does not contribute to understanding the internal causes of conflict, — says the interlocutor of Izvestia. — Therefore, it can be a convenient "reference book" or "simulator", but not a full-fledged mediator in a conflict.
Another thing is also important: artificial intelligence is trained on huge amounts of texts and is guided by what it hears "here and now". If one of the partners actively uploads only his own version of events to him, the model will reproduce it, enhancing the other person's sense of rightness, emphasizes Maria Bodryagina.
As a result, a kind of "echo" arises, in which a person hears only confirmation of his own beliefs. This is not a malicious intent of the technology, but a consequence of its design.: AI does not take into account the context of a living relationship, does not recognize emotional nuances and does not ask clarifying questions that help to go beyond its own position, as a psychotherapist would do, the expert notes.
— Neural networks are designed in such a way as to communicate politely and respectfully with the user, without asking him incorrect and too personal or inappropriate questions, — adds Tatiana Butorina. — Their task is to create comfort and inspire trust. Of course, in compliance with ethical standards, the neural network will also respond to the user's partner, however, giving preference to the user himself. These are its fundamentals.
How Neural Network Tips can Destroy Relationships
Artificial intelligence is trained on a large amount of information, not only encyclopedic and academic, but also on various forums and low-quality articles, says Yakov Filevsky in an interview with Izvestia. Therefore, AI models, instead of trying to show the pros and cons, and then give the operator information to think about, may accidentally step aside, taking a specific position.
— However, when opening a new chat, the AI may not "remember" what it has already said in the next thread, and give other information, — the expert notes. — Moreover, the neural network has a marketing super-value: "If I don't give the client the information he expects, then the client leaves."
One of the most unpleasant risks in the case of consultations about relationships with neural networks is the illusion of dialogue in actual isolation, says Maria Bodryagina. People are starting to discuss the conflict with AI more and more, rather than with a partner. This increases the distance, reinforces resentment and deprives the couple of a chance for a genuine understanding.
In addition, AI "support" can reinforce perceptual distortions, turning temporary difficulties into an insurmountable gap. Family problems are the problems of two people, and people at that, adds Tatiana Butorina. Therefore, the couple needs a bridge in the form of a specialist, a psychologist who will see and hear, understand both sides and help in overcoming the crisis.
"The excessive trust of some people of different ages in the advice of AI has already led to sad cases, such as ignoring suicidal intentions, driving to suicide, and so on," the specialist emphasizes.
How to Safely Turn to AI for Relationship Advice
Artificial intelligence can be useful as an auxiliary tool, for example, to find neutral language to reduce stress in a letter or message, explains Maria Bodryagina. However, it is important to remember that this is only a draft, which must undergo an internal check: "Does this correspond to my real feelings and what I want to say to my partner?".
— It is possible to use neural networks safely only when they help to organize thoughts or reduce the level of impulsivity, and not replace a live conversation, — says the interlocutor of Izvestia. — In a relationship, face-to-face dialogue and dealing with one's own feelings remain key, rather than shifting responsibility to an algorithm.
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