A psychologist explained who should pay the bill on a first date

A first date is not only an opportunity to learn more about each other, but also a kind of social experiment with a lot of expectations and stereotypes. One of the most discussed topics is the question of how to properly split the bill in a restaurant. On February 13, on the eve of Valentine's Day, Tatiana Lyubina, a psychologist at the Teamo relationship search service, told Izvestia whether paying the bill equally on a first date is the norm or bad form.

Some people believe that a man should shoulder the expenses on the first date. As the expert explained, this stereotype comes from historical ideas about the roles of men and women. However, modern society is more progressive and open, and many people are moving away from traditional behaviors.

The expert noted: it is important to remember that each date is unique. What works for one couple may not work for another. Before deciding how to split the bill, it makes sense to explicitly discuss this with your partner before the meeting. Open and honest communication can help avoid awkward situations and misunderstandings.

"It's not so much an issue of money as it is an issue of values, expectations and personal boundaries. It's important to remember that each couple forms their own rules for interaction. Splitting the bill is okay if both partners feel comfortable with it. The main thing is not the fact of payment itself, but the reaction to it. If the issue causes discomfort, it is worth discussing it openly, but tactfully. The first date is an opportunity to learn not only about each other's tastes, but also about values, so honesty and respect for the feelings of another person will always be more important than the amount in the check, "- said Lyubina.

According to the expert, the question of who will pay may have psychological roots. Many men are eager to demonstrate their financial solvency - it gives the feeling that they look manly in the eyes of a female companion. At the same time, some women may perceive the offer to split the bill as disinterest or unwillingness to invest in the relationship.

"Deciding who pays the bill in no way determines your masculinity or femininity. It is primarily a matter of trust in the couple. You can show your interest to your partner in many ways: it is the willingness to listen, and the manifestation of care - to walk home, to make sure that both have safely arrived, and so on," - said the expert.

Lubina emphasized that payment 50/50 is not a sign of lack of romance or lack of interest. On the contrary, it can be a sign of maturity and an understanding that in a healthy relationship, both partners are on equal footing.

She recommended basing payment decisions on each other's feelings and expectations. It is important to act in a way that is comfortable for both.

Earlier, on December 17, 2024, it was reported that in 2025, most Russians are determined to change their personal lives for the better and plan to focus on finding a partner. Relationships will become a priority for 65% of women and 58% of men, according to the results of a study by the dating service Mamba.