A psychologist told about the ways to correctly refuse a child

Many parents hesitate to refuse or forbid their child anything because they are afraid of looking bad or evil in their child's eyes. To avoid this, every refusal should be explained regardless of the child's age. This was stated by child and family psychologist Svetlana Smirnova in a conversation with Izvestia on November 27.

"Any no should be argued. And it doesn't matter how old the child is. When he is two, three or four years old, the explanation should be short. Going to bed on time, so that the brain rests. We don't go into my sister's room when she's doing her homework, because we're interfering with her thinking. We go to the garden in the morning because everyone has to get to their chores. The explanation is short for the child, because he does not perceive long ones yet, but it is detailed for himself," she emphasized.

The expert noted that some situational indulgences, for example, to sit in the gadget at night or eat junk food, will be accepted by children with joy, but in the future will lead to negative consequences for the formation of the child's personality. Thus, added the interlocutor of the publication, as the child grows up, refusals and prohibitions should be more reasoned, the child should understand the reasons for such a decision of parents. In addition, moms and dads should be open to questions from the child, dialog.

"The child may have their own opinion and arguments, on ours no. Listening to them and taking them into account, we show our respect for him as a person, but we also do not lose our parental authority, as the final decision is up to us," explained Smirnova.

So, "no" out of concern for the child is a very important part of the parenting process. However, without proper reasoning, children may perceive prohibitions as violence and disrespect, which must be avoided. Dialogue aimed at mutual understanding teaches children to agree and show respect for the interlocutor.

Earlier, on November 24, "Izvestia" got acquainted with the results of a survey conducted by Ozon experts for Mother's Day. Thus, more than 60% of surveyed mothers in Russia called psychological stability and self-confidence the most important skills for the future adult life of the child.

Before that, on October 25, child psychologist Svetlana Pulya told Izvestia the reasons why children may not be interested in learning. They may include lack of motivation, fear of failure, self-esteem problems, lack of support or overload. The expert advised to try to understand the reason for a child's reluctance to study and create more comfortable conditions for learning.